[Mission 44] (Virus, Cre) Pretty as a Picture.

[cremuex]

Cremuex was humming to herself as she peeled some potatoes for the days lunch- the crew wasn't exceptionally big, it was reasonably small for such a voyage. She'd heard that they were going to Amazon Lily, though she honestly doubted that such a place existed, even so, they would need to make land fall somewhere... eventually. She'd lost some of her original enthusiasm. She'd never left home before and being offered a position as a ships cook was so exciting at first she hadn't really thought it through properly and just jumped aboard with her usual high spirits and geniality.

And then- suddenly! Nothing happened. But it happened suddenly mind you.
The ship wasn't swaying back and forth as she'd grown accustomed to over the few weeks at sea, and it certainly didn't feel like they'd been stopped by a collision. They couldn't have reached an island or there would have been more turbulence leading up to it. She closed her eyes and strained her ears, attempting to hear as best she could to figure out what was going on above deck. She sighed as she opened her eyes, putting down her kitchen knife and brushing the peel aside before lightly dropping it into the half filled sink of water with the other spuds. She rinsed her hands off in the skin and left the kitchen, wiping her hands on her cooking apron and pushing open the door that lead to the deck with her hip.

It took her a few seconds with a cursory glance to find Zenit, the photographer and sharp shooter seemed to fit into the look out's role rather well, and if he didn't move, you could almost look right past him without noticing that he was there.

"Anything wrong?" She called out to Zenit, a slight hint of concern in her voice. As she looked out to the sea she was thankful that another ship hadn't come upon them, at least from what she could see. She went over to the side of the boat where she had wrapped one of the corners of her fishing net. She un-hooked it and pulled the corner so that it gathered up the rest of the netting, following it around to the front and then the other side. She pulled on the net and could tell that they'd at least caught a meal or so based on the resistance. She spun the edges of the net and hoisted it over her shoulder, pulling it up as she backed away from the railing.

She looked over her haul - A few sea bass and red snappers. That would make a workable meal at least. Then she remembered why she'd come up to the deck in the first place. She wasn't a navigator by any means, but even she could tell that no breeze and no currents would make the trip even more difficult. The body guard that had joined them wasn't the brightest crayon in the box, but thankfully they were strong, they might have to row for a bit of the way, but at least they wouldn't drift off course.

[viruswithshoes]

Every voyage had one and on this one it was the bodyguard. Someone had to give Zenit a hard time and further demean the much-loathed occupation of the tabloid photographer and on this boat it was the bodyguard. Considering Zenit would be entrusting his life to the man while sailing the Calm Belt on the way to Amazon Lilly the young photographer and sniper tried to take it in stride...at least until the first okama joke came up.
"Hey, how many okama does it take to screw in a light bulb?" The irritatingly tall and handsome man asked as he sat down to the poker table uninvited.
The punchline was three and involved some lewd and uncomfortable methods which drew a laugh from the other men around the table except for Zenit who thought about his tough-as-nails older brother who never let a man make it to the punchline of an okama joke. The younger Basqiat brother was not nearly as tough and would have to take it from the sailor. That high-cheekboned, fair-skinned bastard with his stylish white lace-up shirt.

Zenit dealt the fellow his cards while staring as many edged weapons as he could think of into the man. The young tabloid photographer even saw the man "admiring" his rifle Blue Sonja, stroking her barrel and bluntly asking about her specs. Given that the man was not only his bodyguard but more than a foot taller and blessed with muscles as well as shimmering blue eyes, Zenit knew he had to let it go.
Letting it go however did not preclude passive aggressive insults.
"I noticed your rifle has a scope. Been a while since I needed one of those. The iron sights are good enough for me. To each his own, I guess."

The comment resulted in a "Ooooooooooooo" from the other men around the table and the next few hands were spent trading good and bad-natured insults. The bad ones were courtesy of Zenit. He well and truly hated the man right down to his stupid, knock-off straw hat. A stupid straw hat Zenit ended up wearing once the photographer began taking clothing instead of money. This was the benefit of being able to print his own playing cards at a moment's notice using his devil fruit ability. Cheating at cards was good for a few beri here and there but it also meant that due to his photographic memory he would remember the bodyguard's face in excruciating detail for the rest of his days.

"Are you cheating me, shutterpunk?"
Zenit took a deep breath with the intention of lying and found a better solution.
"No, nay, never." He then stomped his foot on the ground four times resulting in four bangs which along with those three negative declarations made part of the chorus of a drinking song popular among sailors and pirates.
"It's no, nay, never, no more," Zenit began to sing with a smile and was soon joined by the other men at the table save the body guard. "Will I play the wild rover, no never, no more."
The statuesque bodyguard aside, the short, bald, teen was amiable to the crew. One enemy in close quarters was enough so he returned the beri he had won except for the one thousand beri courtesy of his bodyguard along with his hat. It was a victory trophy. An ugly, itchy symbol of one-upping a superior man through the art of devil fruit cheating.

The melodious marksman made his way to the deck of The Salao which carried them to the Calm Belt and sat down near the mast to avoid the man he would depend on for his life. The small ship swayed and threatened to force Zenit to repaint the deck in bile yellow. He stayed as still as he could which was remarkably still given his training to wait days to take a single shot. His stomach had not learned those lessons.
Then the waves ceased and Zenit suddenly wished his nausea would return. Sea sickness beat being slowly masticated by a sea king. Tilting his head down to cover his worried expression with his ill-won straw hat Zenit imagined being eaten by a sea king but not dying. Being chewed and swallowed for ages seemed like it would fit in well as a punishment in Impel Down.

"Anything wrong?"
"We're in the calm belt?" Even as the speakerm the smooth-headed eighteen year-old wasn't sure if that was a smart-ass answer, a question, or a valid answer. Of course being in the calm belt meant something was wrong. Most wrong of all was that they were purposely in the calm belt.

The old captain with the rheumy right eye and white beard clapped Zenit on the shoulder. "Looks like you'll be helping us keep the rhythm. I hope you know 'Roll Boys Roll'." It wasn't said but as long as Zenit was not one of the men rowing he would be content with singing.
Zenit sang until he grew hoarse and the first mate took over in a surprisingly sweet soprano that belied his harpoon prosthetic hand and facial scars.


That night Captain Pyke invited Zenit and the ship's cook Cremuex to dine with him. Already sitting at his right hand was the man he had been trying to avoid, Kiba the bodyguard. It pained Zenit that Kiba was the only name he could remember.
"Captain, uh...Miss Cook. How goes things?"
Silently he prayed for a sea king to attack and give them something to talk about.

[cremuex]

Cremuex had finished setting the last of the food down on the table- the fish that she'd caught earlier in the day had been prepared for dinner. They had all been scaled and filleted, the mix of thyme, sage, rosemary, dill and garlic had soaked into the fish's tender meat and the melted butter drizzled onto the banana leaves that the fish had previously been wrapped and grilled in.
The sea bass was more mild and the snapper was more rich and flavorsome, though she hadn't gotten to personally know every-bodies preference for food, as she spent most of her time cooking rather then having light conversation as few people came to visit her in her hot relatively small kitchen. Underneath the fish was boiled rice, with thinly chopped parsley and shallots, a light hint of soy sauce adding to the favor and giving a very mild golden coloration to the rice.

She stood behind the captain, waiting on hand in case he'd ask for any beverages like a port wine- she was quite surprised to hear from him that she was to be dining with him. Originally she was taken aback when he'd offered for her to be seated at the table with them. She had politely tried to refuse but to no avail as she found herself seated next to Kiba and opposite Zenit. She silently hoped that they weren't going to start kicking each other underneath the table like children, as she crossed her legs and hid them underneath her chair in an attempt to protect herself from getting some bumps and bruises if they did try to act up.

She gave a curt nod and a reassuring smile as Zenit awkwardly greeted them and sat down at the table. She wasn't entirely sure what to say as far as how things were going. "Well..." she supposed, though she didn't sound too confident in that statement as she averted her eyes; a clear tell that she was beginning to feel uneasy about the voyage. She was told about the destination of Amazon Lily, though she was skeptical that it was a real place, much less expecting it to be a place in the middle of the calm belt. She was so distracted by her train of thought she'd forgotten the convention of asking how they were in return.

"Captain-" she asked quietly, breaching the otherwise awkward silence among the noise of utensils clattering against their respective plates, "What happens once we reach the island?" She asked cautiously, almost afraid of the answer. She'd never spent this much time in the captains presence, so something had to be going on for her to be there and she was already unnerved as it was.

[viruswithshoes]

"Captain, what happens once we reach the island?"
Captain Pyke put down his knife and fork then rubbed his blind, white eye for a moment.
"I'll be dropping you three off on the west bank in a skiff and we'll circle around the island avoiding sea kings and the Amazon Pirates." He pointed his fork at Zenit and his knife at Kiba who took one more opportunity to glare at one another. "Zenit, you'll be taking as many racy, cheesecake photos your camera can hold and Kiba you'll be watching his back." The man with the runny, white eye narrowed it in Kiba's direction and then turned it onto Zenit. "Remember, if we don't get any good photos we don't get paid and we just risked our lives for nothing. So, Zenit, I want photos that will make a man die from blood loss from the nose and Kiba...no photographer means no money. Dismissed, you two."

Dinner was not quite over but a pleasant meal was not the point of the dinner. By inviting and rescinding their invitations after a warning Captain Pyke felt like he had made his point about who made the rules on The Salao.
"Cremeux, do you think you can keep these two men from killing each other?" He asked as he tipped his glass in the cook's direction as a gesture for more wine.
"Men, right?" he asked in that slightly frustrated tone that required no answer. "Can't live with them can't live with them can't keelhaul them without getting arrested. My husband and I started out the same way."
For the next half hour Captain Pyke regaled Cremuex with tales of the contentious courtship of the captain and his husband as young men which seemed to belong more in a ten beri pulp novel about violent sailors than a classy romantic poem.

In the eerie stillness of the Calm Belt Zenit sat at the railing with his short legs dangling over. It was hard to believe that the waters were infested with sea kings. The fact that his legs had yet to be bitten off was also hard to fathom. He was sure he asked about it before but had forgotten the answer. Retaining non-visual information was a challenge, it's why the cook was "Miss Cook" and the captain was "Captain".
He pulled his legs in and tucked them underneath himself and looked out into the horizon where the sun was setting. He blinked and took a wonderful photo he'd remember always thanks to his devil fruit ability. He just wished that his memories weren't black and white. The photographer idly wondered if someone else had eaten a more advanced camera fruit.

Zenit pulled his gray hood over his head to keep some of the ocean spray off of his bald head and took off the round sunglasses strapped to his ears. People were usually unnerved by the black reflection of his eyes like two camera lenses beneath his eyelids and he could remember every expression on every face. Just another side-effect of the pasha-pasha no mi.

He rubbed his black, photo-sensitive eyes and scanned the horizon. With concentration he could see further on and make out land miles away. Was that the soft-core photo paradise of Amazon Lily?

[cremuex]

Cremuex came out of the Captain's quarters, balancing the plates on one another, the little bit of food that wasn't devoured scraped on top with the cutlery. She closed the door behind her with her leg and leaned against the door as it closed, sighing audibly when she knew that the Captain couldn't hear her. She absolutely did not need to hear about what the captain and his partner do as consenting adults in their spare time, that was between them and she hoped to continue to have absolutely zero part in that equation. She was glad that she'd only eaten the rice, she wasn't fond of seafood and she was sure if she'd had it before being regaled by those tales that she would have been quite ill.

She seemed quite pale, more so than usual, which is something for her. She was glad to get some fresh air though, even if it was salty. She left without a word and put the plates in the kitchen, rinsing them off thoroughly and letting them soak in some hot water. Next she had to make the rounds to collect the dishware from the other sailors, which was easy and pleasant enough. as much as the men didn't seem to respect her, she still preferred it to being deliberately disrespected.

As she came to the deck she noticed Zenit- There was no way that she'd be able to stop Kiba from killing him if he really wanted to. She certainly wasn't a fighter and Kiba was so well built for fisticuffs that he'd made a living out of it. She figured that she'd be able to hold Zenit himself back though, or at least keep him on a slightly calmer side since he seemed to laugh things off more than the other fellow. She knew that if they were both going for it that she wouldn't interject- she just wanted to hear some stories or maybe live one- she didn't sign up for being on an island in the middle of the calm belt surrounded by sea-kings and amazons and two men that wanted to punch each other to within an inch of their death.

Seeing Zenit with his legs over the side of the ship just seemed... lonely? Almost melancholic. Perhaps he liked it like that, being left alone, why else would he put his hood up if not to signal to people to not bother him? Still, part of her wanted to protect the lad, to just go up to him and give him a big hug and let them know things would be fine- but knowing that they were going to land on Amazon Lily soon really made her doubt just how fine any of them would be.

"I hope we get there during the day time." She said bluntly, sitting next to the man and sitting so that her legs folded beside her, keeping her skirt from getting too ruffled (though for a pencil skirt, there isn't really any other way for a lady to sit).
"I don't have the best night vision." She didn't want to mention the possibility of wild beasts hunting under the cover of night just in case he was afraid. Besides, they can't get any pictures at night... could they?

[viruswithshoes]

"I hope we get there during the day time. I don't have the best night vision."
"Me either." he squinted at the horizon and while narrowing his eyes narrowed his focus to a frog sitting on a log and shot a photo of his as it jumped off. Light flashed from his bald head to act as a flash which in retrospect he should have warned Cremuex about.
Zenit reached into his pocket and pulled out one of the blank playing cards he used for cheating at poker and printed the photo of the frog in mid-jump onto it.
He didn't know what to say to Cremuex and instead handed the photo/card to her.
"I think I just got lucky with that shot. Right place, right time. That's the motto of photographers and snipers. You can have it. I can make copies any time."

"Um, I'm sure if I introduced myself. I'm Zenit. I'm a photographer." The forgetful teen in the gray coat and hood assumed that Cremuex had met him before but having an inconsistent memories meant having second or third chances to make a first impression.

Zenit's three primary interests were guns, photography and singing. After taking a few moments to look at his pretty crewman he doubted she'd be interested in any of those things...at least not from him. Confidence wasn't high on his list either, especially where women were concerned.
"Would you mind if I asked you a personal question? Why are you here? I'm sure you can find a ship that's....that's..."  He struggled to find the correct way to compare The Salao to an average charter or delivery ship. "What I mean is, uh, this ship seems...death prone?" It turned into a question at the end but when Zenit thought back on it, prone to death seemed an apt description of a ship in dangerous waters to take surreptitious photos of a tribe of warriors.
"I need the money so I'm stuck here. What about you? Did you know what you were getting into when you joined?"

[cremuex]

Cremuex looked around just in time to get a bright flash of light directly in her face, without much time to blink, cover her eyes or look away. She was dazzled for a few seconds before her vision returned to the man handing her a playing card with a frog on it, jumping off a drifting log.

"Wait- you... made this? But... you- ... She tried to figure it out, clearly perplexed. "How do you have ink? Did you like, draw this super quick or?" She took a second to think clearly. "How did you get what's in there" she gestured to either side of the mans head, roughly at his temples, "to on here?" She pointed back to the paper.

Her curiosity was starting to take hold again and her dim position seemed less helpless with a distraction. Zenit could at least have a way to signal to the ship with his uhh... head flashes? She wasn't sure if he generated his own light or just reflected it. It could also be used to stun or temporary blind someone if they need a quick escape. Well, either way, she was impressed and she thanked Zenit with a warm smile, pocketing it inside her bra casually.

"I'm Cremuex Levier- Cre, Crem, Cream~ whatever is easiest should work. I don't mind." Her happy-go-lucky disposition was starting to show through, "I tagged along because I heard that the Salao was going to legendary islands, I was hoping one of them would be a sweets island- with clouds of cotton candy fairy floss, cobbled roads of pop rock candy chocolate, candy cane bamboo, sherbet snow, yule log cabins, chocolate mousse-mooses, taco-dilles, kiwi birds, and-" She began to giggle, unable to hold it back any more. "Oh my goodness, you really don't remember do you? You asked me this a couple of days ago." she wiped away a small tear from the corner of her eye. She didn't normally play tricks on people, or lie for that matter, but she couldn't help it. She sighed, but there was a hint of truth that she wanted to find a sweets island some day, it sounded so fantastical it almost made her eyes sparkle. It would have such lovely colours too, like something out of a fairy tale, if such a place existed she would like to see it, though she doubted something she'd just made up would be true.

"Captain Pyke, came into a tavern I was working at one day and said that they we're going to Amazon Lily... I didn't believe it was a real place though..." She wasn't sure how she felt about learning it was real. It was exciting to know that some stories were true, but frightening at the same time. If Amazon Lily was real, what dark things were there in the world that she'd just brushed off as nonsensical.

"I always loved all the stories that the sailors would come in and tell from lands far off and foreign cultures- my folks used to be seafarers too, so they thought that it was a good idea for me to experience the world first hand instead of just hearing it, to actually live it..." She looked dreamily ahead at the island in front of them. Maybe she would have her own stories to tell, if they could get through it alive.

"I didn't really care where our heading was, I don't know any navigational skills so it wouldn't do any good to worry too much about it. When you think the destination isn't real I guess it doesn't matter where you're off to... To be honest, I don't think it would have mattered, I was really really excited when they invited me aboard, so I guess walking to my death wouldn't be as bad as not trying, or not living in the first place." She trailed off dreamily.

"Say... Would it be ... hmmm..." She tried to angle the question a bit better. "There's no saying we can't just ask to take their photo's... right?" She looked at Zenit's eyes, not really sure where they were looking because of the pitch black colour and having no way to differentiate between the iris and the sclera.

[viruswithshoes]

People were usually interested in Zenit's devil fruit powers at first. He was a less slimy version of a camera den den mushi. After the novelty wore off people realized that Zenit was unconsciously photographing everything around him. Even the most narcissistic of people began to avoid him for fear of photographic record of their less than glamorous moments living forever in his memory. That was when his black eyes didn't creep people out.

"I ate the pasha-pasha fruit. I guess I'm a...camera person? Or something? Uh, I don't need a camera to take photos because any image I blink at I can print onto something. It's how I win at cards." He shuffled his deck of blank playing cards and showed one to Cremuex then printed in black and white a two of hearts.
Zenit narrowed his eyes and grimaced and his sudden burst of frank honesty. "Eh, I'm willing to forget I said that if you are."

For a moment the somewhat naive tabloid photographer almost believed his crew-mate's story about an island of sweets since it was hard to differentiate fact and fiction when it came to the Grand Line. As a boy he asked his well-traveled and foul-mouthed mother about her experience on the Grand Line she simply said: "There's some brain-meltingly weird shit out there. Believe every weird tall tale you hear and it still won't prepare you."
It seemed like the safe bet to take the weird in stride but he was a little ashamed he was taken in by Cremuex's joke while a tiny bit disappointed it wasn't a deeply held belief. The actual story was more mundane.

"I'm in the same boat," His black eyes darted around to the ship he sat on. "Metaphorical boat, I mean. Situation. I wanted to see the world and take interesting photos. I'd love to be taking photos of famous pirates doing silly, uncharacteristic stuff or cool places but here I am working for a gossip rag and trying to take sexy photos of women who could break me in half."

To distract himself from his dire reality Zenit scanned the horizon once more and zoomed in on an approaching island which caused him a moment of dizziness when his focused changed.
"It won't be long now. I've never photographed anyone more dangerous than a drunk pirate. What's-his-name, good-looking bodyguard guy may be a jerk but I hope he's strong...like Whitebeard strong. I don't want to have to worry about an angry woman punching me to death. I mean, maybe you're right and we might just have to ask nicely."
The absurdity of things being that simple and direct made Zenit laugh. Slowly his chuckles died down enough to do a bad impression of himself.
"Hi, I know you've never seen a man before but would you mind holding a wet t-shirt contest for me?"

[cremuex]

She laughed at the naive boy; Did he really think the other sailors weren't cheating too? She'd lived in a tavern long enough to pick up on when people were dealing from the bottom of the deck or to know what luminous ink glasses looked like, though she was surprised that they let Zenit play at all, perhaps they just thought he would be an easy mark being young and all. She had heard that they even came in contact lens, though she had no idea how to pick up on that since it was difficult to tell if someone was wearing clear contacts in the best of times. Zenit might even be able to get a pair of cosmetic contact lenses if it would help, but they were probably expensive, and the teen might not like touching their eyes too much because of their sensitive nature.

She looked at the card that Zenit was showing her- he didn't seem to be gloating, and she almost felt like she was being let in on a secret. Two of hearts? Smooth moves there Zen. I bet you do that to all the ladies. She smiled at her own thoughts, but she didn't want to tease him, he seemed like the type to get all blushy and flustered. Oh no! That would be soooo cute! He probably didn't mean anything behind it, but she still picked up on it like a little flirty joke. To be honest, he was starting to grow on her.

She didn't doubt for a second that the fabled warrior women could snap him in half like a twig, but hopefully it wouldn't come to that. She had faith in people, even the ones she'd never met before. Maybe things wouldn't be that bad after all? Maybe she was just building it up in her head to be something bigger and badder then it was. She hoped that's what would happen anyway.

She doubted that Kiba was really that strong, not White-beard strong at least, probably not even fire-fist strong- but then again, she'd never actually seen him tussle before, which made it more of a wild card. He could be bluffing and get by on intimidation, or he could actually be that good, and she wasn't one for gambling, much less to bet their lives on it.

She smiled as the man mocked himself, she was glad that he was laughing and having a good time, he'd seemed so solemn only moments before. Actually, it seemed more plausible when he said it. If they've never seen a man before how to they know what they look like in order to keep them off the island?

"Wet t-shirt contest..." She muttered to herself. Did she have anything to offer for a wet t-shirt contest? Anything of value that she could think of to be a prize. She wasn't terribly in need of berri, but she didn't have it with her. She wasn't too big on jewelry, so she knew she wouldn't have that. She had her dials, but she didn't want to lose them because of the sentimental value they held. They would probably already have fabrics and perfumes native to the island.

"Not to be sleazy... but on an island of women at least a few of them have to want to be famous, or have dreams of stardom." Her tone turned to something more serious- could they actually pull it of? Now she was starting to understand why it would help to have a woman on the ship.

A back up plan is if they don't know what a man looks like. Kiba probably isn't passable, but- She looked at Zenit, a mischievous smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. He was slender. She could make his features look softer, a bit of lip paint would do well, a dab of blush on those high cheek bones...

She realised that she was staring at him, and had been for a while now, losing time with her thoughts. She tried to think of something to say quickly, but couldn't come up with anything. It would be rude to excuse herself so soon, since she'd only just sat down. She was going to ask what his favourite colour was- he seemed fond of black though- most men were. Her pastels would seem a bit off, but white would work. Then she remembered the frog photo.

"Are you fond of animals? What's your favourite one?" She had already made a guess in her mind. A falcon. Or some other bird of prey, like a hawk. It just seemed to fit him. Or a Bald Eagle.

[viruswithshoes]

Zenit pondered Cremuex's idea of a fame-driven amazon, maybe a simple girl who longed to see the world and wouldn't find any offense in a few risque photos in exchange for some notoriety. It seemed more likely him being punched into a thick, red paste.
Still, it's a big, weird world out there.
It seemed better to focus on the difficulty rather than the off chance of a simple photo shoot.
Luckily, Cremuex was there for another distraction.
"Animal?" Zenit grinned while thinking about how much better he got along with animals than people. Even the poisonous frogs and lizards he used to shoot in the misty forest of Pirate's Market meant more than some of his human relationships.
"Dogs. I like dogs a great deal. Most are usually glad to see me and that's really nice. Like...you go home and there's this creature that there's genuinely happy you're there. I can't abide people who mistreat dogs."

Even with Amazon Lily approaching Zenit found himself relaxing. He smiled at Cremuex who he just noticed was an extremely attractive woman. He wondered if he could talk her into posing as an amazon and calling it a mission. That idea lasted nearly and entire second before he dismissed it. Photography was an art and shouldn't be cheated, it wasn't cards.
A faint glow emanated from Zenit's head as he imagined the buxom, blue-eyed blonde in a furry bikini. The image refused to leave no matter how much he thought of sports.
"Uh...so...hobbies? Have any? Do you collect wanted posters or weapons or something? Or reading? Do you read much?"
Once more Zenit wished for an amazon attack as a distraction from socializing. Suddenly, arriving at the dangerous destination and risking his life didn't sound so bad as long as the amazon beating him to death wasn't attractive enough to arouse him.

"Land ahoy!" Captain Pyke bellowed causing Zenit's stomach to turn. Once more his mind turned to an estrogen-fueled demise.
As "The Talent" as Pyke had called him, Zenit didn't have to do any of the physical work of lowering the skiff or preparing items for travel but neither did Kiba as "The Muscle" or Cremuex as "The Beauty". Zenit had to wonder how much delight Captain Pyke took in assigning his crew nicknames and wondered what the harpoon-handed first mate's was? Pokey? Maybe something ironic like 'Fluffy'.
"You're rowing, Talent." Kiba 'The Muscle' taunted as he entered the skiff ahead of Zenit and Cremuex.
And so Zenit 'The Talent' Basqiat rowed, but poorly. Rowing had always been one of those things someone else did. Far too winded to make conversation he left any talking up to his two comrades while trying to maintain a positive frame of mind.

[cremuex]

She was glad that he liked animals, she'd always had a soft spot for them and finding someone who respected animals was nice. Dogs were always a safe bet, though she didn't exactly dislike any animals either. He seemed to genuinely care about them too, which was a quick way to win someone's way over to her good side.

She didn't really have anything like a hobby... She spent most of her time cooking, cleaning and socializing, but she did have some interests... She didn't collect wanted posters, she wasn't one for getting caught up in who was famous or anything like that but still knew the bigger names from idle conversations she'd picked up on. Weapons she could see as a good deterrent to actually needing to fight, but she wouldn't own one as anything besides decoration, she'd never seen herself as the sort to enjoy violence so an extension of that wasn't something that she'd collect. Even the things that she did own that could be used as weapons weren't weapons in her mind.

"Yeah- I read; I like to learn things, like, not so much to be an expert but just enough to have a decent conversation. I don't have hobbies per say... but I do like collecting things." Cremuex looked up when she heard the captain call out, she hadn't even noticed that they were there. Or how close they'd gotten to the island for that matter.

Cremuex went to get up, then paused for a second and leaned in close to whisper in his ear. "I collect boring stuff, like rocks." She felt that it would be ok to tell him a little embarrassing secret since he'd shown her his secret to cheating. She wouldn't be embarrassed by it anyway, but it seemed like something other people would be a bit ashamed of if others found out. He'd probably forget anyhow, that's if he remembered her when they got in the skip. Maybe his mind just reset when he went to sleep? Like sleeping was a reset button.

She stood up and gave the Captain a salute, hurrying to her room and coming back out with two bags. One, her backpack, wasn't unusual to see her with, since it had most of her dials and stuff in it, which was generally useful to have on hand. The other bag however was reasonably more full, even though it wasn't as heavy. Kiba held out a hand to help her into the boat. Kiba didn't give her any trouble, though few did. She'd had enough time to change out of her chefs uniform into something a bit more practical, so she didn't have to worry about jumping down and flashing her panties or anything, not if they were going into a jungle at least.

She was wearing jean shorts that were tie died pastel pink/blue/purple, ripped and frayed at the bottom so that the edge of the pockets underneath almost showed. Her soft pink lace up flat boots were just as sturdy as any doc-martins, they just didn't have the height or heels that could trip her up in the jungle and wouldn't do any harm to the matte plastic in the water or sand and went all the way up her leg to just under her knees. Her baby blue shirt had a yellow kitten printed on it saying 'check meowt' in a cute bubble font. Her white skinny coat was longer then her shorts and was left unbuttoned. All in all, she looked more casual than someone going on a life threatening expedition.

"I hope we don't need to resort to force, I don't want anyone to get hurt." She said sitting at the front of the skiff to balance it out a bit better and make it more even then if she was sitting next to Kiba. "If we stay hidden, it'll probably be better for us, and running would be smarter than fighting them. It doesn't matter how strong you are if they out number us. We shouldn't really be on the island anyway, so it's safer to play this defensively." Kiba made a face like he already knew, and had probably had it drilled into him from the Captain at least once. "Besides... you wouldn't hurt a lady would you?" She said softly, looking at Kiba innocently and trying to appeal to any honor they might have.

She looked passed Kiba for a second, just to check on Zenit. He seemed out of breathe and tired, and she really thought that Kiba would have taken the opportunity to show off his strength and row the boat for them. To her knowledge most men liked showing off. They weren't going the fastest, but they didn't need to, it was best to be safe in this situation. Actually, she kind of appreciated him rowing. She wouldn't admit it aloud, but she wouldn't mind if he had some stronger biceps or triceps, strong arms were a bit of a guilty pleasure for her, even just to look at.

As they got closer to the shore line she hopped out from the front and helped to guide the boat up onto the sand, dragging it a little bit, to which Kiba was more eager to help with. Her boots had gotten wet, but that was fine, it didn't bother her so long as her socks didn't get wet, and thanks to the height of the boots and how tight they were, nothing really got through them.

[viruswithshoes]

Cremuex leaning over and whispering in his ear did little to still the hormone driven thoughts Zenit was beginning to have. The glowing of his head brightened a little as he blushed and looked for something to say.
"Rocks? Just any old rocks or special ones that form at those...things that spew lava? Or, those ones that look like they have glass inside? G-forces."
Before Zenit could be asked the awkward question about hobbies and having to admit that his hobby was his job: photography, Captain Pyke had spotted land and saved him.

Rowing the three of them to shore at night was a nearly lethal combination of tiring, frustrating and intense. Stepping onto the wet sand of Amazon Lily however, almost cemented the entire surreal experience for him. He was on a dangerous island to take photos of dangerous people doing sexy things. For the first time since disembarking, Zenit's fear was tempered with excitement. He tilted down the straw hat he had won from his bodyguard Kiba and smiled. For the first time he felt like a real photographer and not some annoying paparazzi. Sure, they were just going to be girly pics but they would be of a people and place most never got to see which was the reason he left home in the first place.
"Smile, Amazon Lily. It's picture day." The darkness around him would make it picture night and wondered if he should amend himself but couldn't once Kiba suggested they head out.

It took two giant insects and one giant centipede to wander into Zenit's field of vision to make him shift from excitement back to anxiety and back again once he had photos of said insects and arthropod. The flora as well as the fauna interested him. Giant trees and mushrooms the likes of which he'd never seen before. When Kiba ate one without dying Zenit decided to gather a few for soup an exotic meal for an exotic locale.
"Do you know how to make mushroom soup, Cremuex?"

The highly familiar sound of a frustrated sigh left Kiba the bodyguard's lips and while Zenit was all for angering the man on The Salao, here there would be no protection and kept quiet.
When the taller man fell into an odd paw-shaped crater all sense of stealth was lost as the jungle was filled with a loud burst of stream-of-consciousness swearing. Even his mother, a former marine, had never spoken in such a manner.

Maybe it was the fall, maybe it was that Zenit had taken him for a thousand beri earlier but Kiba had the look of a man in a murdering mood. Zenit had to duck to dodge the machete the taller man slashed at him as if the photographer were human foliage.
With heavy breathing, bloodshot eyes and an inhuman anger it looked to Zenit that his bodyguard had come down with jungle madness or jungle fever, one of those.
It seemed like the time to man up.
"Crem! Help!"

[cremuex]

"Do you know how to make mushroom soup, Cremuex?"

"Hmm?" She was trying to see if she could see any stars from the jungle floor, but the foliage seemed to block everything but a few strands of moonlight. She turned to Zenit with an eyebrow raised, and then immediately understood the question once she saw him with a bunch of mushrooms in his arms. She tried to look them over but it was difficult to tell what type they were in the dim lighting conditions. She wasn't even sure if she could identify some of them, they looked foreign to her and she would rather err on the side of caution to make sure they were safe rather then try out some potentially toxic or deadly fungus.

She tried to squint passed him to see what in the world Kiba was doing when she heard a solid thud. She couldn't help but laughing when she heard the man cussing his brains out. She had to cover her mouth to stifle the sound, though it was already covered by the man's vulgar language. Her laughter was quick to die down when Kiba had seemed to jump out of a hole and started slashing wildly towards them- well, mostly Zenit- with a machete. She moved to the side quickly, narrowly avoiding the two men from bumping into her, pressed flat against the body of a tall tree.

What she wanted to say was 'Hey, calm down, it's alright, it's dark and you tripped. No need to get so aggressive about it.', but all she could come up with in that split second was "Kiba stop it!" in a somewhat stern voice that reminded her a bit of her adoptive mother back home.

"Crem! Help!" had barely left the boys mouth when she jarred up. It was like time for a split second didn't move, and she couldn't think, all she could do was to take action.

She pushed off the tree with her wings and struck the rampaging man in the chin with an upper cut- her knuckles grazing off and the pulmar pads of her hand hitting his nose with a sickening almost wet crunch. "Nope!" was all she could say, not even sure why she said it or who she was saying it to as she swung her leg around to behind the man, kicking the back of his knees and causing him to fall down.

She wasn't entirely sure what she'd done, and it took her a second for it all to sink in as she stood over the bigger muscle built man. She'd punched him. She'd actually thrown and landed a punch. Not bad for someone who couldn't see properly at night or someone who'd never been in a fight before. She must have picked it up from watching all those tavern brawls-

Her tough facade broke instantly when the man moved slightly and she froze completely- her punch didn't seem to do anything but act as a surprise.

[viruswithshoes]

While growing up the two Basqiat brothers had their reputations. The older brother Dagon was laconic and could throw a punch that could make a grown man fall to his knees. Zenit, the younger one was snarky and could slightly harm the self-esteem of someone deeply sensitive with a cutting remark.
He tried the Dagon method first by punching Kiba the mushroom-mad bodyguard while he was finally down on the ground but to little effect. That left the Zenit method.
"Hey, Kiba! You're mother's so old she wrote the rough draft of the poneglyphs. You're mother's so-" The punchline had to wait as Kiba sprang up and to swing a mercifully empty hand at Zenit who was thankful the temporarily insane man had forgotten to pick up his machete.
After a few deep breaths the young, all-too-mortal teen regained his spirit to taunt.
"Kiba, you're mother's so ugly she models for jolly rogers. Um, you're conception only cost that drunken pirate one beri and your mom still owes him change."

Not having his big brother around quelled the devil-fruit user from such comments most of the time, but not always. While Zenit was not much for throwing a punch, the bald, memory-impaired young man could take one.
Then two.
Then he silently prayed for Kiba to be stricken with a terminal disease known to kill it's victims in a fraction of a second.

Using his devil fruit's ability to propel himself forward with great speed Zenit managed one solid shot to the taller man's solar plexus which made him crumple to the jungle floor. It was like a incredibly short but intense sprint which caused Zenit to hyperventilate and seriously consider taking up jogging. To his good fortune, his flash technique, whereby his head glowed brightly but shortly like a flash-bulb took no real stamina at all.

Now blind and slightly injured from the attacks of a cook and a photographer Kiba seemed less like a threat. "Can you keep him there while I get some vines or rope or something?
A loud stomp waylaid Zenit's vine binding idea by preceding a large warthog, bigger than all three of the Amazon Lily visitors put together. Apparently their struggle and noise had spooked the local wildlife. Not one for heroics, Zenit found himself running over to Cremuex. While holding her gently Zenit unleashed his Camera Obscura technique which created a small dark room around them to put them out of sight for the course of one minute. In the jungle at night it seemed about as good as invisibility or at least enough to fool a speeding warthog.

By the time Zenit's light-extinguishing technique faded away the beast with the loud footsteps had passed. Upon closer inspection it had passed while knocking away the tallest and second-prettiest of the humans. A moment ago Zenit had his doubts if Kiba was really unconscious, but was now of the belief that Kiba was definitely, totally, really most sincerely knocked way out.
Tying him up with some loose vines seemed a reasonable measure, though. As did getting some distance away from the man who tried to kill them.

"I don't know about you, miss Crem, but almost dying made me hungry."

[cremuex]

Zenit- ... Zenit what the hell are you doing? Don't heckle his mother he'll rip you apart. She'd seen how well such comments went down with calmer men but saying such a thing to someone who was already as angry as a hornet was just signing your own death warrant.

"Can you keep him there while I get some vines or rope or something?"

"There's a rope in my b- she was cut short by the appearance of a seemingly impossibly large warthog. If that's what the fauna is like here it was probably best not to even ask for a photograph, and her simple solution seemed dead in the water.

As the young man hurried over to her she almost wanted to tell him that she hadn't the slightest hopes to fight it off, but when he reached her everything went even darker. It was already hard enough to see, but she could only tell that Zenit was there because he was holding onto her. She held her breath subconsciously, even though it probably wouldn't do anything. By the time the darkness had faded to a slightly less difficult to see in moon-lit darkness she looked around to see if she could see where the pig had gone. One deranged beast seemed to have taken out the other, much to their good fortune.

She went over to the unconscious Kiba as soon as she considered it safe enough and riffled through her bag for her length of rope, which she was hoping to use it later to make a temporary tent of some description so she could have at least some privacy from the boys. Having found the rope she looped it so that it made a noose knot, loosely draping the ring over the man and tightening it over his torso, keeping his hands behind his back and wrapping the rest of the length around him, putting the loose end in the man's lifeless hand. She couldn't very well just leave Kiba here on this island alone, and defenseless, but she couldn't let him go at the same time. As soon as they get paid she was going to buy a Den Den Mushi so that she could call people at a time like this. She'd much prefer to have Kiba be brought back to the ship but that didn't seem to be an option until they had the shots they needed.

"What is wrong with you? You didn't need to antagonize him you almost got yourself killed." the tone of her voice hinted to the boy that she was cross. She knew that Kiba had started it, but it didn't need to end with them being left alone in such a dire situation. Though in all fairness, she did throw a punch herself. None of them were dead though and she had to take that as a consolation prize.

"I don't know about you, miss Crem, but almost dying made me hungry." She looked up at him, disbelief on her face at how he could be taking things so lightly, which melted away to concern seeing him struggle with breathing and remembering that he'd taken some hits prior. "Oh you poor thing."

"Oh, you had to leave before you finished dinner didn't you?" She asked, getting a blue and white plastic box out of her bag. Opening the lid and handing it to Zenit, showing him the lamingtons inside and looking back to their now tied up Kiba. The lamingtons were vanilla cake, with strawberry jam and cream in between the layers and covered in chocolate sauce and sprinkled with coconut flakes all around. She could cook something with her flame and water dials, but she didn't want the light from her flame dial to attract any unwanted attention.

"He can get out of it if he lets go of the rope end in his hand, and pulls on the bottom loop, but he would only do that if he can think his way through it, so he won't get out of it if he struggles when he's still angry... I think if we set up camp it should be away from where all the ruckus happened, just in case anyone else comes by." She trailed off, thinking ahead, at least Kiba could still run tied up like that so her feeling of guilt diminished.

"We might need to wait until morning too." She was happy that he remembered her name, but she knew in her mind that he would probably forget it again once he'd fallen asleep, that is, if either of them could sleep on such an island. She stood next to Zenit, letting him choose what to do and following his lead.