Death On Two Legs [Queen Pirates 3] (Part 2) (Submission)

[Blaka]

Plot Title/Link: Death On Two Legs [Queen Pirates 3] (Part 2)
Marine Mission Rank/Number: -
Mission Number: -
Total Number of Posts: 33
Plot Summary: After the events of their first day on Aityaia, the Queen Pirates stayed on the island for the entire next month. Melosa was still the guest of Rokkakku, whose Shinobi continued her training so that she could leave one day. Meanwhile, the rest of her crew spent their time training on their own and repairing their ship. A few days later, Itty, the Klabautermann of La Colmena started playing tricks on them without their knowledge. After a month, Lieutnant Lea Koshinawa's Marine Crew arrived on Aityaia, looking for the Queen Pirates who were suspected to be behind the terror attack on Dauntaun earlier that year. The Shinobi of Rokkakku managed to distract them for a while, but eventually La Colmena was found. Louisa and Itty had to fend off the Marines on their own at first and Louisa was almost killed, but the Shinobi boy Bendan managed to save Melosa in time so she could rescue her crewmate. In the short fight with the Lieutnant, Melosa got almost killed herself and was in turn saved by the arrival of the Shinobi Nao. Letting Lea and Nao fight it out amonst themselves, the Queen Pirates got rid of the last few seamen on their ship and left the island.

Pirate Crew: Queen Pirates
Pirate Name/Link: Queen B. Melosa
Current Bounty: 0
Number of Posts: 12
EXP: 313/500
What percentage of bonus exp do you want as Poinz?: 0

Pirate Crew: Queen Pirates
Pirate Name/Link: Shingetsu Asada
Current Bounty: 0
Number of Posts: 2
EXP: 118/500
What percentage of bonus exp do you want as Poinz?: vanished

Pirate Crew: Queen Pirates
Pirate Name/Link: Louisa McLeod
Current Bounty: 0
Number of Posts: 11
EXP: 100/500
What percentage of bonus exp do you want as Poinz?: 50%

Pirate Crew: Queen Pirates
Pirate Name/Link: La Colmena Klabautermann
Current Bounty: 0
Number of Posts: 8
EXP: 0/100
What percentage of bonus exp do you want as Poinz?: ?

[Lord Bromosalino]

I'll be doing this one. Expect a grade soon.

[Lord Bromosalino]

-------->Overall Thoughts!

[/b] was the same thing that made the thread so good. While the multiple stories going on at the same time, it felt a little too disconnected unless the plot required it. It just seems as if it was lacking in quite a few posts from really making the big splash that it could have. I don't really know what could have been done to help this out, just something that (for me) kept all of your scores from being a 5. But we can talk about that individually.

[/ul]

-------->Individual Ratings!

blablakaka (Queen B. Melosa) -- 4/5

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Raymon (Shingetsu Asada) -- 3/5

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Vio (Louisa McLeod) -- 4/5

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Shinku (La Colmena Klabautermann) -- 4/5

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Errors in Template:

N/A

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Totals and Endzone!

---->blablakaka: (Queen B. Melosa);
Details:

SPOILER: Click to show

EXP at Time of Submission: (313/500)
Base EXP Earned: (12) * (5 For doing a Story Mission) = (60)
Bonus EXP Earned: (12) * (4) = (48)
New EXP Total: (313) + (60) + (48) = (421/500)

---->Raymon: (New Total EXP for Shingetsu Asada);
Details:

SPOILER: Click to show

EXP at Time of Submission: (118/500)
Base EXP Earned: (2) * (5 For doing a Story Mission) = (10)
Bonus EXP Earned: (2) * (3) = (6)
New EXP Total: (118) + (10) + (6) = (134/500)

---->Vio: (New Total EXP for Louisa McLeod);
Details:

SPOILER: Click to show

EXP at Time of Submission: (100/500)
Base EXP Earned: (11)* (5 For doing a Story Mission) = (55)
Bonus EXP Earned: (11) * (4) = (22)
Bonus Poinz Earned (50%): 22
New EXP Total: (100) + (55) + (22) = (177/500)

---->Shinku: (New Total EXP for La Colmena Klabautermann);
Details:

SPOILER: Click to show

EXP at Time of Submission: (0/100)
Base EXP Earned: (8)* (5 For doing a Story Mission) = (40)
Bonus EXP Earned: (8) * (4) = (32)
New EXP Total: (0) + (40) + (32) = (72/100)

As always, please contact me if you have any questions/concerns/suggestions. Please update your profiles!
(<.<)b

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