Chesu Chesu No Mi

[genuisj01]

Chesu Chesu No Mi

---

English Name: Chess Chess Fruit
Classification: Paramecia
Owned By: Xelden Koseni

---

Appearance: The fruit takes the appearance of a pomegranate with a unique black and white checkered outside, the shape round befitting what it’s based on, but has a lot more of cubical look. The seeds on the inside are also distinctly coloured black and white. The stalk is stubby and black, fitting the colour scheme. The taste resembles iron, barely even considerable as a fruit.

---

Ability:
The user becomes a ‘King’. It grants the user the ability to create an area similar to the Ope Ope no mi’s room, but much larger and completely horizontal in size. The area that is covered by this ability gets a light ‘overlay’ over every part of the place, resembling the black and white squares of a chess board, it is visible but quite faint. The ‘board’, as it is called, lasts for about thirty minutes to an hour, depending on the user’s current state, and is always the same size, no matter how long it has been prepared for, being about 2 football fields in size, in a square shape. The user isn’t at the centre point of this board however, and is instead on one side of it, and can direct the other side in any direction they might wish. The user can then create a number of constructs, depending on their experience with the fruit, known as pawns. Using a certain technique, the king can promote said pawns using a storage of ‘energy’ at any time, but this promotion is only temporary, lasting for a short amount of time. The energy can be restored through rest. The units are as follows:

Pawn
There can be any number of pawns at any given time. The pawns are the simplest, they are completely average in all ways, and have no extra effects. They simply use a sword, and are lightly armoured.

Rook
There can only be two rooks at any given time. Creating a rook is more taxing as it is considered a ‘major piece’. The Rook gains large defensive capabilities, gaining a shield and extra armour. A rook lasts a shorter amount of time. An incredibly taxing effect of a rook is the ability to ‘castle’, where the king and a rook can switch places, though doing this immediately turns the rook back into a pawn.

Bishop
There can only be two bishops at any given time. Creating a bishop is less taxing as it is considered a ‘minor piece’. The bishop gains a large amount of speed, and a lance. A Bishop lasts the longest amount of time, with the Knight.

Knight
There can only be two knights at any given time. Creating a knight is less taxing as it is considered a ‘minor piece’. The knight gains a large amount of agility, able to jump over obstacles, and gaining a horse. A Knight lasts the longest amount of time, with the Bishop.

Queen
There can only be one queen at any given time. Creating a queen is more taxing as it is considered a ‘major piece’. The queen gains the speed of bishops and the defensive capabilities of a rook, gaining a lance and a shield. The queen lasts the shortest amount of time.

These units are all humanlike in shape, but if one were to look underneath the armour or clothing (As all of them have armour, or are hooded like the queen and bishop), then they would see that the armour or clothing is essentially floating in space. The look of said armour or clothing changes depending on the user. The units take telepathic commands from the king, similar to taking control. This requires lots of focus as expected. All of their vision is also shared with the king’s to provide a large area of view to the user. The board can be dispelled but it takes at least 15 seconds for it to dissipate.

Due to the mind being so utterly overloaded by all the information that comes with the board, the user, or the king, can only move and cannot attack, run, or even speak while the board is activated.

Weaknesses:

The normal devil fruit weaknesses.
This devil fruit doesn’t actually give any strength to the user, but rather its constructs, and therefore if the user can be reached, the user is doomed.
The constructs, due to not having minds of their own, can be played around since not every unit can always be commanded at any moment.

[Jade]

Alright, so, this is already a fair amount more coherent than the first draft... But we've still got some work to do, I think. Ultimately, and after speaking with another member of staff to get their opinion, it seems like you're still overcomplicating things - fortunately, I think we can smooth some of these things out.

• Timer
  I do understand why you've included a "time limit" function here, considering that chess matches do use a timer function... But ultimately, this aspect of the ability feels a bit confusing. I'd recommend removing this bit, and just having it be something that is up until the user either opts to shut it off or is forced to (probably via losing consciousness).
• Size
  "Two football fields" is a rather bizarre static size for this thing. Rather than stating a specific size like this (especially given that it's potentially something that could be improved), I think it'd be more interesting to state a generic starting size for the "tiles" of the chessboard. On this note, actually, I'd like to see some sizes given for at least the Pawns.
• Pieces
  The last I'd heard, I thought you were going to start with just the Pawns and then bring in the idea of "Promoting" them into the more specialized and powerful pieces via an Aspect for the Devil Fruit FiSt? Given the power of a teleportation ability, even via this castling "swap" mechanic, I don't know if this is something that should be in the Fruit at a base level.
• Control
  Making it so that the user needs to actively control their pieces leaves this Fruit in a peculiar place. Now, it may seem weird for a member of staff to encourage making an ability more powerful, but that's actually what I'm going to do here - switching the pieces from not being able to do much of anything without the user's direct control to a system where the user can directly take control of them, but they otherwise act autonomously, following either the user's last given order or doing what it was they were created for. Nothing too complicated, perhaps; the sorts of simple trained commands a dog or a small child could follow.
• Weaknesses
  Even in the state the Fruit is in currently, before factoring in the changes I've suggested up until this point... These weaknesses aren't great. The lack of a strength does not equal a weakness - just because the ability doesn't directly empower its user doesn't make that fact a suitable weakness. Unfortunately, I'm going to need you to find some other weaknesses for this ability.

Whew, quite a lot of things to say here... Hopefully I've laid them out in a way that's actually digestible. Please respond once you've made your changes!

[Jade]

Hey there, genuisj01. If you're still interested in pursuing this Fruit, please respond as such. If you don't respond in the affirmative within seven days, this Fruit will be locked and archived.

[genuisj01]

Sorry about that. Yeah, I'd recommend you lock it off, sorry about the waste of time with all of it.

[Jade]

Hey, don't worry about it. Sometimes things just don't pan out, but that doesn't make them a waste of time.

Locking and archiving!