Sumi Sumi no Mi

[Blushing z0ro]

<Sumi Sumi no Mi>

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English Name:– Coal Coal Fruit
Classification:– Logia
Owned By:– Leonard LeClerc

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Appearance:– Charred looking black orange with grey swirls and glowing orange flesh showing through the cracks.

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Ability:– Allows the user to being able to become, produce and control coal. Coal is a combustible black sedimentary rock that forms in rock strata in layers or veins called coal beds or coal seams. The coal takes the form of solid lumps of the matter that can be hurled and projected at a target.

((Through an Aspect Leonard has learned to manifest it as coal dust as well as solid chunks.))

Weaknesses:–

Water: When directly exposed to enough water the nature of the coal makes the user heavier and slower due to the increased density, making basic movement more difficult and possibly clumsy. 

Fire: The biggest danger to the user of the Coal Fruit is fire. Coal is highly combustible thus rendering it's Logia defence useless against fire and high enough heat.

Standard Devil fruit weaknesses

[Jade]

Looking pretty simple, Blushing z0ro! Despite the short descriptions, this Fruit is looking pretty good. Good enough to approve right out of the...

Hold on just a moment; what's this? In the Ability section, you claim that you're able to produce a "fine dust" - yet in the Weaknesses section, you list that creating "fine dust" is something that the Fruit isn't able to do!

That aside, I'm actually going to need you to make some other changes. Namely, you're either going to need to change the romaji name or the English name, and I feel like it'll probably be the English - you see, "Charcoal Charcoal" Fruit actually still works in English, since it's only two syllables! Also, you should probably make sure you change any mention of "coal" to "charcoal", just for the sake of internal consistency.

Also, you're missing something vital for a Logia user - a real weakness! Really, I feel like you're actually going to just need to edit this to make that whole thing in about liquid making the user clump up into something like Croc's weakness - "clumping together" causing the user's body to be able to be struck just like anyone else's, negating their Logia defenses.

Get back to me when you've made the required changes, z0!

EDIT: Actually, after a little bit of looking into this, if you want to make a Charcoal Logia, I'm afraid you're out of luck - charcoal is made from animal or plant substances that are heated in an airless environment. The problem then becomes that coal is also made of plant life... Perhaps looking at making this Fruit a Paramecia might make more degree of sense? Or perhaps going back to the drawing board with this Fruit is the way to go.

EDIT, SON OF EDIT: I'm going to fight Flame, apparently. Yeah, just tighten this Fruit up, make it more clear that it's Coal, we should be good. That said, coal is generally a solid substance, and these sorts of "solid" Logia haven't been shown controlling "fine dust" versions of their substance - in fact, you could say that's the trade off for having a more solid substance, because it generally makes their regeneration slower than their more "fluid" counterparts.

[Blushing z0ro]

Think we managed to get through the fever dreams and thus, made coherent changes.

[Jade]

Alright, yeah, this is looking a lot better despite my multiple horrible attempts to doing good staff stuff when ill. Anywho, I think we're well on the way to actually getting this approved so we can get Leonard out the door and back into the RP game - but first, I'd like to see a quick change, and I'd like to make a quick note.

If you're going to be using water as your weakness, I'd like to see you actually make a note about water(/liquid in general?) allowing people to bypass your Logia defenses. The way you've worded it makes it sound like that's what you were going for, but the lack of specification is something that I worry about, y'know? And as for the quick note, you probably don't need to make mention of being "waterlogged" keeping you from making your coal dust here - you don't need to remove it, but you should add it into the Aspect description in Leonard's profile, if you haven't already.

So yeah! Get back to me when you've made the changes, and we should be good to go.

[Blushing z0ro]

Right, I discussed weaknesses and I think I came up with a most suitable one. 

[Jade]

I'll be honest - I thought the water weakness was a little iffy. This fire weakness? It's the one that I would've suggested, but given the character, I wasn't sure that you'd go for it. That said, it doesn't really remove the option to still set things up to light your coal ablaze, it just makes it much easier to backfire on you if something goes wrong...

All in all? It's a really solid weakness, and with it, I can't see anything else wrong with the Fruit. In other words, it's accepted! Welcome back, z0!