Post by Jade on Mar 5, 2014 21:00:09 GMT -5
Why, yes, I do suppose I should write this down for posterity's sake, at the least. There has been more than one occasion where my new... Oh, what would the correct term for his position be... Indentured secretary? I suppose that fits better than most other terms. At any rate, my newly-appointed secretary, the ex-criminal "Peeping" Thomas has suggested that I begin keeping a journal of my adventures. I do believe that he suggested this simply as a means of keeping me off his back, but... Oh, Thomas, for goodness sake, don't roll your eyes at me while I am dictating.
Where was I? Oh, yes, that's right. Our little adventure on Shivre Island, which was quite unfortunately lacking in a suitable amount of time to drink tea… What to say about such a dreadfully boring experience, I wonder… Oh, come now, Thomas, I already told you to stop rolling your eyes.
Well fine, I know exactly where to start. We had just been captured by that stupid woman who had had a bounty a number of years ago and her over-brewing goons, and we were stuck in the same little cell together. She rambled on about her stupid plan (which, I shall reiterate, did not involve tea at all) for a long while… And then had us released, and then those two garishly-dressed twins led us around their underground lair for a while. It was a rather impressive place, I suppose, but I could not help but be disappointed in the sheer lack of tea… Thomas, stop snickering. As I was saying, they led us around that woman's little lair until they finally brought us to rather empty room, where that blue-haired swordsman was waiting for us. There was that whole fiasco with his two swords, something about him using them to create sparks to ignite explosives… I will be perfectly honest, I was not paying much attention to that. You ended up tricking him into igniting something he was standing too closely, I think? Well, whatever happened, we got through fighting him, and then those weirdo twins showed up again… They, surprisingly, went down without too much hassle. That I remember quite clearly; I merely let some steam build up while you distracted them and then let loose with a blast of steam, and you took them down when the two of them were stunned. Or blinded… Or whatever happened to them.
We made our way out of that silly underground arena after that, and back through the warehouse section of the lair, where a woman wearing a supposedly frightening mask and carrying a surprisingly well-made shotgun decided to play a high-stakes game of hide-and-seek with us. Between the crates, aisles, and the general darkness of the lair, though, we managed to get out of that situation… Not before you covered my hair in dirt, you brute. I still cannot for the life of me figure out why you would have done that.
[Tom's Notes: I did it because her hair is white, and it was going to get us killed!]
Well, the joke is on you; I stole these blueprints while we were down there for a pretty fancy gun. It seems to be similar, at least aesthetically, to that masked woman's shotgun, but more similar to a rifle in design. No, I will not let you see those blueprints. Oh… You have gotten me off on a tangent, Thomas. I will figure some sort of punishment for your rude behavior once we are done with this. Perhaps I'll cut you off from the tea for a week…
Well, at any rate, we quickly made our way out of that little underground establishment, sneaking past the leader and the masked woman, and we were free to go. Well, I was free to go. I had also grabbed a set of handcuffs while we were down in that warehouse section of the leader's lair and managed to quickly handcuff you. From there, it was a short walk over to the local authorities… Who regrettably informed me that it would not be possible to collect on your bounty, given the fact that the reasons behind you actually having a bounty were stupid.
So, instead of making you face jail time, they sentenced you to ten years of working under me. Oh, stop making that pitiful expression, Thomas; I am about as happy with this as you are. At any rate… The authorities gave us leave of Shivre Island, giving us this lovely little vessel for free. The vessel is not much, to be fair. Essentially just a rowboat with a small cabin, and falling apart as we speak. But this boat will be more than enough to get us where we need to go, don't you think?
Hm… We'll need to do something about your bright pink hair, won't we? Well, wherever we end up, we'll get you some hair dye… And Thomas isn't a good name for my secretary, now is it…? Oh, Thomas! Thomas, where do you think you're going?~~~~~End of First Journal Entry~~~~~
