Post by EriChar on May 23, 2015 8:04:10 GMT -5
Ah, continuing my reflections series...
To be honest, this has been a big issue for me in the past year. While I went through a period of a couple of years with relatively little issues in regard to role play inspiration and ability to churn out posts, in the past twelve months or so, the ability to find the right inspiration and words to RP has been quite inconsistent. I've had periods where I've had so much enthusiasm for RP I haven't known what to do with it, and others where my 'tank' has been so empty that I've wanted to do anything but reply to a post.
So yeah, the issue is 'muse', a word I hear a lot but not everyone has the same opinion on it? I've known those who consistently attribute a lack of RP to a lack of muse, and then those who outright deny that such a concept even exists, and various points between these two poles. So, what do you think? My own muse history has been quite a complicated one.
During my productive years, I remember seeing a certain member by the name of Taro vehemently denying a concept such as muse existed, and being inclined to agree with him. I had no trouble throwing out a post whenever it was needed, and while some were easier or made me happier than others, I'd never really hit much of a block in terms of writing? ANd then, I did.
I'm not really sure what happened but in the running of the Fever Pirates and Samba, I became somewhat obsessed with designing new characters? Actual RP seemed to take a back seat and all I wanted to do was brainstorm character ideas, churning out several a week at a rate that I'm sure even Vio would envy. I think at a point, which she may be able to confirm, our very own character arsenal that is Miss Vio did think I was doing it just to compete with her? I wasn't, but I might make me thoughts and feelings known more clearly in a more character-centric reflection? Ultimately, I found that my excessive character making was a sort of coping mechanism I had developed to deal with my own frustration at my lack of progress. I had big ideas for this crew and they were taking longer than I'd like to fulfill, so I kinda distracted myself with a character obsession. It's a weird habit really, something I've come to notice, and perhaps a clue to a greater underlying problem. I seem to still, though to a much reduced degree, begin considering new character options when I become frustrated with current RP.
Frustration, I find, is often the key to my muse or more accurately lack there of. Often when I have no 'muse', it's not necessarily that I lack the ideas or opportunity to use them, more the means. In the medium of written RP, this is obviously a case of wording. I can usually tell when my 'muse' is low because I become highly critical of my writing, becoming frustrated and angry because my wording isn't as pretty as I would like it, or I can't find a term eloquent enough to express what I want? Ironically, I'd say this probably makes my muse even lower, because I find my writing gets even worse in this state. Relaxation is needed for RP, I find. A kind of excited but calm sense to just let what's within you flow out. You can't force role play or writing, well you can but it's rarely on a par with your best. However, it's a lot easier to tell yourself to relax and let it flow than do it.
I think, in many ways, role play is a highly pressurized environment? People are prone to burn out and muse loss simply because it can get pretty stressful, or that's what I find? Essentially, you're writing a story in turn, so a lot of the time I find and I'm sure a lot of others do too, that I post more to keep others happy than myself? Often my impetus for posting lies more with 'not keeping people waiting' than producing something that makes me proud. As a hobby that is meant to fulfill some desire or wish for creativity, this can seem quite counter-intuitive?
Added to this is the process of grading, which I find particularly pressurizing for me? I'm not sure how others feel, perhaps some or even many just wanna get their ideas out there and not worry what peeps think of them? I do not. I never considered myself a good writer when I got here, and I wasn't really all that bothered how good my RP was? But through time and the inspirations of certain amazing sources of inspiration I felt the need to lift my level. It might be arrogant to confess but I would consider myself now a part of the 'elite' on site? And that adds pressure of it's own. I loathe when I don't perform to my level, and rather than letting things flow out from me, I always feel some sorta weight to make sure I keep myself either at the level I have achieved or even go beyond it. Irony abounds once more since I usually perform my best when I just relax and let it pour out, my most favourite posts coming from times I've gone "This is gonna be an important character scene" and just let things develop on their own. Yet, despite knowing this, I still fall into the trap of 'needing' to post more than 'wanting' to a lot of the time? It's disheartening really, it's so simple to do a good post when the situation is right, and yet so easy to make yourself avoid it? That's what I have found.
All in all, I'm not sure if there is such a thing as muse, but there certainly are factors that can make RP a more or less pleasurable experience? Stress, pressures from both outside and inside, or just the simple ability to say "This is my RP, I don't care what people make of it as long as I like it."
SO, yeah, what do you guys think? Are you a firm believer in muse? Is there any advice you could offer to the community to get people believing in their writing? When thinking about writing posts, what goes through your mind?
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