Let it Set! Laying Low on Port West!

[Jade]

"Oh my!"

Harley froze in place, in the middle of picking up a rather alarmed cow up and off the ground. The big brute had traded her usual outfit for a set of denim overalls over an only partially-buttoned red plaid shirt with its sleeves rolled up to expose her biceps, and her typical cap switched out for a tan cowboy hat over her mane of black hair. The cow, of course, was au naturel. "Uhhhhhhhhh," she started, and then slowly turned around to face the little old woman standing on the porch overlooking her fields. "I can explain?" The cow mooed pathetically as it gave a pathetic little kick of its legs.

"Why, Ms. Harley, your friends were right - you are strong as an ox! But," the old woman brought her unsteady hands up to her face, adjusting her round glasses as she peered toward the unusual sight in front of her, "why are you trying to carry Strawberry?"

Harley glanced down at Strawberry, who in turn stared up at the massive woman holding her off the ground, and then both looked back toward the elderly woman. "Uhhhhhhhhh... Well. You see, Eda, Strawberry was... Going to trample the cabbages? And I thought, well, that's probably bad, so I was going to take her back to the field with the other cows, where she's supposed to be, and not in this field." She gestured with Strawberry (who continued to make sounds of displeasure as she was swung about) as she spoke, and only occasionally looked to Eda to see if the old woman was still buying her story.

Fortunately, the little old woman nodded her head as the fib continued. "Oh, yes, I see. I do wonder how she managed to make it out of the fence... Well, as long as you're remembering to lift with your legs and not your back, you can get right back to that, Ms. Harley. I'll have some lemonade ready when you get back, alrighty? And then I'll need your help taking some produce up into town, since you're so strong!" Eda beamed, and then took her unsteady steps back toward the house - and nearly ran directly into the one-eyed woman standing just inside the doorframe. "Oh, my apologies, Ms. Sayuri, I didn't see you there! I'll just scoot on by..."

After far too much time spent on the simple act of walking around one another, it was Sayuri who stood on the porch overlooking Harley and the quite disturbed cow still in her arms. The quartermaster had donned a pair of denim pants as well, though she had matched it with a set of dark leather boots and a light tan rancher shirt; the blade she typically carried around with her nowhere to be seen. "So, why are you actually carrying a cow?"

Harley turned her back on her quartermaster, walking in the direction she had laid out to the old farmer before. "Oh, you know, just... Normal reasons..."

"Harley."

"I wanted to do some heavy lifting, and Strawberry was the heaviest thing I could find that wasn't bolted to the ground or a building!" The Riot Gang captain looked over her shoulder, grinning despite the fact that she was very clearly in trouble. "Jeez, you'd think you'd never seen someone just lift a cow for exercise before."

"I..." Sayuri started, and then stopped as she pinched the bridge of her nose. "I'm not even going to dignify that with a response, is what I'm going to do. Look, just... Low profile, Harley, and that means not just picking up random livestock, okay? I keep telling you, we need to let the Log Pose set before we can be out of here, so just... Act normal for the rest of the day, alright?"

---

A deer, with its antlers just coming in for the season, cautiously approached the stream. Its body froze and its ears flicked up at the sound of a branch snapping somewhere behind it - and the scene was still for a moment before the creature eventually relaxed and continued to walk toward the source of fresh water ahead of it.

The beast stalking the deer exhaled silently as the creature moved again, relieved that its prey had not been spooked. It moved forward again, its powerful legs taking slow, steady steps through the underbrush of the forest, never fully committing to any single step until it was sure there was nothing to snap or make any other sudden noise once its full weight was pressed down. As the beast's prey dipped its head down to the water, the beast became emboldened, moving forward at a faster pace...

And the same mistake happened again. A branch was snapped, the deer brought its head up suddenly - but this time, there was no point in hanging back. A massive shape surged forth, descending upon the deer with teeth and talon, and then stood triumphantly over its prey, howling its victory into the mid-evening forest...

"Oh, come off it, you're full of shit."

"Hey!" The rather gaunt man, looking about twenty years older than he actually was, slammed his fist against the table. "I'm telling you what I saw with my own eyes, and what I saw was a monster out in those woods the other night!"

"Yeah right! Sounds like you had one too many. We're gonna have to cut you off on the day drinking, Bruno."

Bruno sat back in his seat, lifting his mug up to gesture at the man who had just told him off. "And maybe you should learn to listen when a hunter is telling you what he saw in those woods, huh? Y'ever think of that? 'Course ya didn't, ya no-good..." He muttered the rest of his insult into his mug, and then looked about the rest of the table - and his eyes fixed on the newcomer, the purple-haired girl wearing strange bit of material pulled up over her nose, obscuring most of the bottom half of her face. "You believe me, don'tcha, lass?"

"Um," Brandy started, and then glanced around at the other hunters at the table, still in the middle of laughing at their friend. They were a far cry from the sort of "hunters" she was used to; less proud slayers of beasts, more... Mundane folk who took to the safe woods around their home to find game. "Well, I mean- You can't exactly blame them for finding it a little preposterous, r-right? To think there's some sort of 'monster' running around the woods of this island... Is there even any game big enough to support something that size?"

At that, the other hunters' laughter redoubled, and one of them parroted back that last line into the side of Bruno's head even as he slapped the gaunt hunter on the back. Bruno's spirits dropped, his shoulders slumped forward, as he muttered into his drink again, something about how he knew what he had seen.

"I'm sure you saw something - but maybe you were just confusing a sick animal for something else. Don't let it discourage you..." Brandy offered up as encouragement, and then stood from the table. With the lack of danger on the island, her ostentatious Guild Knight armor had been traded for something a little more subdued; a plain pair of tan pants, leather boots, and a piece of leather chest armor that was hidden under an olive green poncho with an extra bit of material around the top, which had been pulled up and over her nose to hide the bottom half of her face. Her twin axes, however, were still holstered at her side. "But, um, I think I need to get going, alright? I'll be back tomorrow."

To the resounding cries of "bye Brandy!", the huntress of Gaea Step quickly walked away from the table. Underneath the material of her poncho, Brandy's mouth was a thin line, and she simply stared straight ahead. As soon as she was out of the building, a silver cat - wearing not a single article of clothing - dropped down from the roof of the bar and onto her shoulders, curling there before whispering discretely to her. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah- Well, maybe? Someone saw me hunting, though..."

[The Prettiest Squish]

"Hm? Did someone leave?" An unmistakable blue mop of hair emerged behind the wooden counter. Atop that mess of locks sat a leather cowboy hat - tan brown in color. The brown crown rose up in conjunction with its speaker who was donned in a most promiscuous sort of fashion - a cropped flannel top with only two buttons hid her enormous bust and kept the fabric from bursting, tight fitting daisy dukes covered her bottom as they stretched to their limits and her thick, soft legs were stored away behind thigh high leather boots. The cowgirl crossed her arms before huffing with exasperation that she missed bidding their guest a proper goodbye. That was after all, the job of a good hostess.

"Shortstack! What are you standing there for? Get to work!"

Lea squealed in surprise. "Oh my bad, Mr. Deegee!" she called back before picking up two platters full of booze and snacks. The water-filled waitress sighed as she made her way over to Table 5 and dropped off their orders. "Okay boys, here are your drinks. Bruno, no staring in your cup. Have some nachos. Franklin, your chicken wings. And for Big Tommy, I got you some extra chili on your fries, you're welcome~" The arrival of their food invigorated the group of men who eagerly cheered for the blue lass' excellent service as well as her - ahem - charming good looks. It'd been a long shift tonight but the hostess with the mostest enjoyed serving such wonderful smiles. Though how she came to be in the service of this establishment was an oddity.

By some stroke of luck did Mr. Deegee come across the blue haired tot when he found her on the side of the road. He couldn't quite understand what the girl said other than that she got upset her friend Sawyer and Hardly disapproved of any surfing near the Marine base. The man couldn't imagine why; it's not like they were wanted criminals after all. Either way, he could see the small one was down on her luck and offered her a job at his store if she needed something to occupy her time. Unfortunately the only uniform he had left belonged to an older lady with a much more endowed physique. To his absolute shock however, that served to be no problem for the shortstack. With two buckets of milk down the hatch, the half-pint grew into a full-gallon!! He couldn't believe his eyes nor could his customers. Her curves filled nicely into those old duds of his, something he utilized to increase today's revenue at a rate unlike he'd ever seen. Ah yes. He'd only worked with Ms. Lea for a single day but the man knew that this partnership could last for a long ti-

"I'm resigning my post, Mr. Deegee." The man spit his drink so hard that the stream blasted through the window.

"YOU WHAT!!?" he screamed in denial.

"Yeah you see, I'd like to keep working but my buddy Guy here said I should probably go back home." The owner turned his head to where the girl was pointing and saw nothing but a giant Maine coon perched atop the counter. He twitched his eye in confusion.

"That...that's a cat, shortstack."

Lea nodded in agreement. "Yeah. Yeah, no. That's Guy. He's a friend. He also says I'm in big trouble if I keep goofing off so I gotta bounce. Anyways it's been fun working here! Hope you can find someone else to fill these out!" And without an ounce of shame, the busty bluenette tore off her clothes all at once and rushed out the door followed closely by her peculiar feline friend. Mr. Deegee stood stupefied holding the remains of his former employee's uniform.

[Jade]

Harley Post #2 / Brandy Post #2

"It's so stupid that they won't let me in there with you!" Holly exclaimed as she bounded up beside Brandy, hands wrapped around the strap of her satchel of supplies. "Like, I've been in bars before! Most of them at least let kids in - and it's not like I want to sit at the bar or anything! Jeez. So, how'd it go?"

Brandy continued along the street, though she kept her mouth firmly shut - a small group of Marines approached, walking the other direction. One of them made eye contact with the huntress and gave her a shy smile and a wave, but then one of his fellows smacked him in the back of the head. Once they'd passed, Brandy glanced down at the little doctor walking beside her and finally spoke up, though in a very hushed tone. "Um. Poorly. Someone saw me hunting the other night, in... Not this form."

Holly glanced over her shoulder toward the group of Marines, and then back to Brandy. "We don't have to hide, you know. It's not like they're looking for us. But- What do you mean? You were hunting as, uh, you know," the doctor raised her hands up, hooking her fingers about as if they would suddenly become talons and baring her teeth, "like that? Do we need to 'take care' of that dude?"

"I don't think so," she replied. "I don't... Think he actually saw anything. Or at least didn't see anything clearly. There were a lot of supposed details in his account, but nothing specific, so- Is that Lea?"

The woman and the girl came to an abrupt stop, and even the cat curled around the purple-haired huntress's shoulders raised his head to glanced up to see what all of the commotion was about.

---

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand... There." The declaration was followed by the rather surprised sound of a cow dropping to the ground, and then a series of sounds meant to convey just how disgruntled she was about being carried about like some sort of small dog as she trotted off to rejoin the small herd. Harley grinned and leaned back against the fence that separated the field from the dirt road, quite content with herself. "See? Not a big deal. You're all worked up over nothing, 'yuri."

The one-eyed woman joined her by the fence, standing in the grass. "... Maybe you're right. Sorry, it's just- We've been sailing together for a little while now, and you lot just have a knack for getting into trouble. Or making trouble, if there isn't any trouble to get into." Sayuri planted her elbows on the top of the wooden fence and put a hand on her cheek, resting her head there in her palm, as she gazed out over the pasture the fence was designed to contain. "It doesn't help that Lea ran off just about as soon as we got here, but... I guess it wouldn't matter too much if she got captured. I'm sure you'd just knock the walls down and we'd take her with us as we left, huh?"

"Heh," Harley rubbed a finger under her nose, only barely hiding her big grin at the perceived compliment. "Yeah, something like that. I do wonder what she's been up to, though. You said Guy found out where she was?"

"Mhm." Sayuri raised her free hand, gesturing into the empty air by her head. "I sent him off to make sure she comes back. Best to get her back before we sail off without her."

[The Prettiest Squish]

"Miss Lea!"

"Yeeeeeee ~ Hawwwww!"

"Miss Lea, please have some decency!"

In the distance, two bizarre souls ran down the old country road before the larger of the two managed to tackle the other to the ground, skidding across the path until finally coming to a stop at the feet of two confused ladies.

Immediately the man with the green mane did his best to restrain his prisoner as he bowed his head repeatedly to the ground. "My sincere apologies! She has no shame! We will move on at once!" But the devious damsel squished underneath his weight brightened up at the sight of three familiar faces looking down on her. "Oh hey! Guy, chill out. It's just the Gang!" Sure enough when the fellow looked up to verify, he recognized the perplexed visages of one doctor, huntress and fellow feline. "Oh! Miss Brandy, Holly! D'Artanyan! W-what are you three doing here? Oh!" Before he forgot, Guy made doubly sure that this infernal blue wench was tightly hidden under his massive frame. "Don't mind us - er - Miss Lea had a wardrobe malfunction earlier."

"Pfft. I'm only naked, there was no wardrobe involved." she giggled obliviously. A loud sigh could be heard exiting the poor lad's mouth before he took this opportunity to seize the sponge's body in a tight grip and get to work on making her appear somewhat presentable. "Ahem. Just a moment." Guy said as he faced the two of them away from the group and he pulled out an extra pair of overalls from a bag suspended on his shoulder. "Wait. What are you gonna do with that?"

Those were the last words that came out of Lea's mouth before the scene was filled with hollering, hooting and general shrieking of a feral nature. A few seconds later and the carpenter swept a good bit of sweat off his brow as he finally stood up proper. "Whew, that should be fine for the walk back home. Which speaking of, would you fine pirates care to accompany us~?" Charming as ever the gentleman bowed with respect to his fellow crew mates. Meanwhile a furiously fuming Lea stood next to him in a pair of overalls covering her body from neck to toe. She grumbled with crossed arms looking down at her now fully veiled chest with bitterness. "I can't believe you forced me into this confining garb!"

Beside her, Guy stared down with a squint and a frown, gesturing toward the others standing in front of them. "Well I apologize but the rest of us can't appear low-profile with you running around butt naked can we?" As much as the mad surfer wished to defy this remark she found her head to be quite empty of any retort. And so with bitter reluctance, she huffed a hefty sigh and pouted. "Fine. But I'm picking new duds when we get home!"

[Jade]

Harley Post #3 / Brandy Post #3

Captain and quartermaster stood there by the fence for a few minutes passed in silence before Sayuri broke it by standing up straight and clapping her hands together. "Oh right! Eda wanted us to work on loading up the cart to take into town. Come on, you can get your 'lifting' in that way."

"Oooooh?"

Too late, the one-eyed woman realized her mistake. She spun around, putting both hands up in the air in a futile attempt to get the moving mountain to slow down and listen. "Not for us to take it into town!" Sayuri attempted to correct, even as Harley bull-rushed past her toward the barn. "We still need to... Lay low..." She hung her head as the rumbling of the ground from her captain's stomping gait subsided, and then rolled her neck around as she followed in Harley's footsteps.

---

When Guy called them "pirates", all three of the little trio raised a finger (or a claw, in d'Artanyan's case) to their lips and shushed him. "Not so loud, Mr. Guy! Especially not now that you've found Lea!"

In an attempt to help Lea's whole clothing situation, Brandy partially disrobed - she removed her olive green poncho and draped it over Lea's frame in one smooth motion. Underneath, her outfit was a no-nonsense khaki shirt with knives and various other survival tools strapped to her, and her signature twin axes were still holstered on either hip. "Yes, we should really try to keep quiet. The Marines have been very... Busy lately." The huntress spoke softly but sternly, and though she didn't say it aloud, the way she glared at Lea certainly implied that she thought the spongy girl could be to blame for the law enforcement's recent activity.

"No ap-purr-ent reason for it, either," d'Artanyan chimed in from Brandy's shoulder. "They've been crawling around the city like ants the past few days, though. It's got my whisker's tingling, I'll tell you."

[The Prettiest Squish]

While the buxom bluenette fiddled with the denim overalls confining her massive power, Brandy swooped in to add further insult to injury by enveloping her frame in a most conservative wrapping, green in hue. "What in the sam hell is this!?" she exclaimed to the group's dismay. Without hesitation the lad immediately put his fingers to her lips to shut her up from attracting any further attention. Though the woman protested, further suggestion of keeping their activities clandestine got the sponge to finally calm down for the time being.

With Guy's digits no longer suppressing her voice, she finally relented to their cause. "Pfft. Fine. No more funny business. We'll be super secret and stuff....like ninjas." And with that Lea proceeded to make increasingly odd poses depicting right angles with her arms as well as emitting a high pitched moan. Guy stood in silence as the nimble shortstack did her best to practice roundhouse kicking the rest of the crew with her stubby legs. To her credit, she did fall on her rear only once as the rest of the gang awkwardly stood still.

Looking around to make sure no other sentient beings were present to witness that demonstration of tomfoolery, Guy then huddled up with the rest of the ladies and cat in company and spoke in a hushed tone, "I feel you there, d'Artanyan. If the Marines are swarming the area, then that means our most wanted faces should stay out of sight, agreed?" To remind them all whose face he was referring to, Guy glanced over at the cerulean goofball still practicing her martial arts routine though from their perspective it all appeared as one incoherent bout of flailing. A heavy sigh left his maw as he tried to regain himself. "I apologize for thrusting this upon you but I've had a very long day watching her at the saloon. I pray one of you can take care of her until we get back home."

Just off the side, a squeaky voice roared with passion, "AND THIS IS MY SUPER MOVE!!" before the familiar sound of a butt crashing against the ground quickly followed.

[Jade]

Harley Post #4 / Brandy Post #4

While Lea continued doing some ridiculous set of poses with accompanying sounds, Guy led the rest of the gathered Gang in a group huddle. "Our most wanted faces should stay out of sight, agreed?"

"Agreed, Mr. Guy," Holly responded first, looking up at the faces of the adults and felines around her. "We just need to get her back to Ms. Sayuri. Between the four of us, we should be able to do that, right?"

Brandy and d'Artanyan looked over their shoulders in unison, just in time to watch the sponge woman roar something with the utmost confidence only to fall on her ass a moment later. The two hunters looked blankly at one another, and then back to the other two members of the group huddle. "One would certainly hope, but she's..."

"... A magnet for trouble?" d'Artanyan helpfully offered up, which got a sharp nod from the cat's human companion. "We'll need to keep her away fur-om those Marines... Purr-haps we can convince her to stick to the back alleys while we head out of town...?" The cat's suggestions came without even a hint of confidence, as if he himself didn't believe those gathered were up to the task.

"It's just an idea, but, we could," Brandy reached a hand toward one of the pouches on her hip, and a moment later she held up a number of odd-looking darts between her fingers. "They aren't really meant for people, and I don't know how they would work on someone who is a sponge, but we could just jab her with a couple of these and carry her out while she's out?"

"..." Holly looked at the strange darts for a moment with narrowed eyes, and then turned her gaze up toward the huntress holding them. "Are you suggesting we tranquilize Ms. Lea?"

Brandy met that incredulous look from the young doctor with an absolutely deadpan serious expression on her own face. "Yes."

"... I guess we can keep that as a 'Plan B' if we need it..."

---

"Oh, Sayuri, dear!"

The one-eyed swordswoman stopped in her tracks and turned her head about to face the little old woman with the thick round glasses. "Ms. Eda. Did you need something?" Sayuri put her arm out for Eda to take, and when the old farmer did, she put her other hand over Eda's.

"Oh, not really," Eda replied as the two continued their walk toward the barn. "I was just wondering if you'd told your big friend about getting the cart prepared for our trip into town later already or not, is all. I was going to tell her before, but my, the sight of her lifting Strawberry like a puppy knocked the thought right out of my head!"

"I just did, actually," Sayuri answered, and then winced at the sound of something crashing in the barn ahead of them. Fortunately, Eda didn't seem to notice, or at least she didn't seem to mind. "... Wait, 'our' trip into town?"

"Didn't I mention?" The older woman beamed up at the swordswoman. "There's plenty of work that will need to be done in town as well, and if you don't have anything else going on... Oh, and there are some hooligans running around the countryside. They wouldn't think twice about bullying a little old lady like me, but they'd think twice before messing with two intimidating young lasses like yourselves, ho~ho~!"

Sayuri grimaced, teeth gritting as she considered her next words carefully. "I... See. Ms. Eda, I thank you for everything you've done for us while we've been here, but you must understand that there are some, er, unique circumstances preventing Harley and myself from heading into town-"

"You girls are in some sort of trouble, aren'tcha?" Eda said, cutting Sayuri off. "Well don't you worry about it. I'll put in a good word for you with some of the local authorities - I'm sure we can have it all sorted out before you know it. I didn't want to mention it before, since I thought it might scare you all off, but I could tell from the minute you all arrived on my porch, that I could." The old woman nodded as she spoke, clearly proud of her own powers of deduction. "But, I thought to myself, 'why, these girls are good people, so it must all be some sort of misunderstanding', and you all haven't done a single thing that would make me think otherwise. So, please, let me do this for you all as an act of kindness. Granny Eda will smooth everything over, alright?"

The one-eyed swordswoman slowed to a stop, blinking with her one functional eye, as she attempted to process what the woman who had been hosting them on this island had just said. She didn't even react as another crash sounded from the barn and a single cart wheel rolled lazily out the main door past herself and Eda. They stood like that for a few moments, Sayuri too stunned by the old woman's abysmally incorrect interpretation of the sort of "trouble" the Riot Gang was in, until Harley popped her head out of that same main barn door and noticed them.

"Oh, hey! I've almost got the cart ready! Just looking for, uh... Oh! There it is!" The brute's gaze fell from the other two women to land on the runaway wheel, and her face lit up as if this was a totally normal thing to have happen. Harley jogged past them to pick it up, and then slapped her huge hand against Sayuri's back on her way back toward the barn. "C'mon, I'll need your help to figure out how to get this thing back on!"

[The Prettiest Squish]

Following the masterful demonstration of her brilliant fighting style, the spongy surfer bounced back on her feet with a smile. "Hehe, yeah. That's how ya show 'em what for!" For good measure she showed off a few more jabs into the air before taking notice of the group huddle formed conveniently out of earshot. How strange, she thought. Were they planning something big? A secretive meeting? That's when it hit her. Lea gasped with delight. "Oh my gosh, could they be?" And without a moment's notice, she sprinted into the group with arms held high.

"Guyyys, you shouldn't have~" The agile lass sprung into the air with a red flushed face, high on emotions. But before she could land on the party in an unceremonious nosedive, Guy plucked her from the air and dangled her by the foot. He looked into the woman's eyes with an exhausted grimace and sighed, "What...what is this Miss Lea? What are you doing?" Lea giggled to herself and tapped the man's nose with a delicate touch. "Oh c'mon silly beans, you don't gotta hide it from me anymore! I figures you out!" With a smug grin she beamed with pride that the mystery had been solved so easily; a mystery so cleverly clandestine that Guy himself had no earthly clue what the hell she was talking about. In his bewildered state, he turned to the rest of the crew and shrugged his shoulders for a sign of clarity. "Umm, does anyone have something here?"

A cackle came from the gentleman's fingertips. The upside down sponge cake continued to enjoy the show they were putting on for her. It was quite touching that they would even go so far for her. The feeling put a tear to her eye. Again, Guy blankly stared into the blue, vapid void of insanity with immense confusion on his face. "I...we...you...wot." Perhaps the little one had broken her brain during that last fall, he thought. It was now at this point that Lea huffed with impatience at the group's lack of a reveal.

She crossed her arms together and blew steam through her nostrils in protest. "Okay, you don't gotta hide it anymore. I already know what you were saying behind my back." Guy raised a brow with severe suspicion and looked to the others for their own reactions. No one seemed to be buying it. "And...what is it that you think we were talking about?" Expecting some strange answer given his subject, he braced for the worst she could throw at him. Little did the man know, his blue blob of a friend could go even further beyond.

Lea threw out her arms and shouted, "A surprise birthday party! For me!" Finally, the truth was out. Now they could no longer deny it. They'd have to start planning it right away or else the cake would get cold. Speaking of which, what flavor did they get her? Ooooh she couldn't wait! She wiggled her body in a bizarre dance and hummed the birthday song to preemptively celebrate the occasion.

On the other side of this exchange, the dumbfounded Guy could not find the words nor facial expressions to properly reply to this - this - this whatever the fuck this capricious little nymph just said. A party? A birthday party - what the fu-

"Ahem. Miss Lea...First of all, I'm sorry to disappoint you but we were not discussing any plans for a birthday celebration on your behalf. Apologies. And secondly, ahem, it's your birthday today?"

To his utter rage, the woman looked at him with a tilted head and shrug of the shoulders. "Huh? Nope. Not even close. That's why it's a surprise party, silly!" And with that, the bluenette obliviously resumed her wiggly dance as Guy turned his bloodshot eyes toward the tranquilizer darts in Brandy's hand. "Do it. Please."

[Jade]

Harley Post #5 / Brandy Post #5

Sayuri staggered forward, nearly dragging the poor old woman down with her since their arms were linked, under the weight of the impact. "Harley..." she hissed, but the bigger woman just fixed her with an over-the-shoulder grin before the Riot Gang captain disappeared into the barn. The swordswoman sighed and glanced back down at their gracious host, who was in the midst of chuckling to herself at all of the commotion. "I appreciate the offer, Ms. Eda, but you must understand that the sort of trouble-"

"No, no, I insist." The little old farmer smiled cheerily, but there was a certain steely aspect to her tone that clearly conveyed that she was not going to take "no" for an answer. "It's really the least I can do to repay you all for everything you've done for me."

Sayuri stood there a moment longer before she shook her head, sighed, and moved along the trampled earth path toward the barn. "I... Thank you, Ms. Eda..." The little old lady tittered to herself, and that was the end of that.

---

While Lea put on another show, in which Guy was an unwilling participant, the three gathered audience members just watched on in stunned silence. Toward the middle, while Lea was going on about how they were planning a surprise birthday party for her, Holly and Brandy shared some guilty looks between them - after all, they hadn't known it was the sponge woman's birthday, and neither had done anything to prepare.

So when the bit finally came to its natural conclusion and Lea revealed that it was not, in fact, her birthday, the little doctor staggered and nearly fell quite dramatically while the hunter pinched the bridge of her nose. D'Artanyan, for his part, seemed to find it quite amusing and was doing his best to stifle an oddly purr-like giggle fit.

"Do it. Please."

"As this group's chief medical advisor," Holly hopped out between Brandy and Guy, putting her arms up over her chest in an "X" formation, "I don't think I can condone that. Can we downgrade it to 'Plan C' or 'D'?"

Brandy considered the darts for another moment, glancing between Guy's intense, bloodshot eyes and Holly's crossed arms and insistent head shaking. After a few moments, she sighed and returned the darts back to their compartment at her belt. "Okay, okay - fine. But how are we going to-"

"Er, um - guys?"

Brandy and Holly at least both glanced toward the feline companion sitting on the hunter's shoulder, and then followed d'Artanyan's paw pointing out an older woman speaking with a pair of Marines who had split off from a larger group. As she spoke, the woman pointed at the gathered Riot Gang members, and the Marines glanced over at them. "I think we've already attracted some attention."

"Um," Holly readjusted the satchel slung over her shoulder, as if it would help calm her nerves. "M-maybe she's just mad about how much noise Ms. Lea's been making and it's not a case of her actually recognizing Ms. Lea...?" The suggestion was a hopeful one, but not necessarily one that carried a whole lot of belief with it in the little doctor's tone.

---

After some hurried repairs and a bit of time spent loading the cart up, the trio set off from the farm. Eda took the reigns and Sayuri sat beside her up front, her blade retrieved from the house and left to rest on the cart's bench beside her. Harley, too large to properly sit up front with them, had opted to lay in the cart with the produce, leaving her legs to dangle over the edge and just barely hang above the ground as they traveled along the country road into town.

The Riot Gang's captain had her hands behind her head, serving as a bit of protection from the fairly bumpy ride. Rather than resting, though, she was watching the sky - at the clouds lazily traveling through the pretty blue sky and the bright green leaves and branches of the occasional tree growing along the side of the road. The chirping of birds, the clopping of the horse's hooves against the packed dirt road, and the steady movement and creaking of the cart came together to form a sort of idyllic mid-afternoon music...

"Are you sure that you're comfortable laying like that, dear?"

She glanced away from the sky to tilt her head back, looking toward the front of the cart. "Yep! I'm sure."

"She better be, with a head that hard..." Sayuri grumbled. Harley beamed as the attempted jab sailed clear over her head, and then simply settled back down against the cart's floor. The swordswoman sighed, and then turned her attention from needling her captain back to the road in front of them.

[The Prettiest Squish]

As the jiggly fiend resumed her shenanigans she overheard the doctorette whispering amongst the crew. "Oh?" she hummed curiously. Lea tuned into the conversation at hand and listened to Holly talking of shifting their strategies from a "C" or a "D", a peculiar tactic for the spongey lass was not even aware a Plan B existed to begin with. Whatever could they mean, she thought to herself for a brief moment before coming up with the solution thanks to her incredibly perceptive mind. She hammered one hand with the other as a show of brilliance and grinned, "I got it!" She scrambled forth to get within earshot of the bunch, mainly by reaching onto Guy's shoulder and stretching her body forward, and excitedly shared the news, "You guys! It's okay, we don't need a Plan C or D, I'm already an F cup at least! These babies are super heavy, you don't gots to worry about a thing~"  

Beside her beaming expression stood the stoically stern face of one tired old man who just wanted to go home. "Miss Lea..." Guy began, "We were not discussing the size of your bust. We were debating which strategy would be best to take you home with the least amount of trouble. How would the capacity of your breasts factor into anything we are trying to achieve at the moment? Hm?" He raised a brow with indignation, genuinely prompting her to answer the question. 

Quick as a flash, she answered by pointing to the same pair of Marines that d'Artanyan spotted and said with a cadent tone, "Well if my boobs are big enough that'll keep them from looking at our faces. It's foolproof!" The man on her shoulder started to argue until he stuck a finger in the air to pause and ponder for a good moment. His face twisted with puzzlement yet skepticism until finally widening his eyes with realization that that plan would possibly have worked after all. "I....I."

"So are we going to go with Plan F now or should I keep pouring some milk on these bad boys?"

[Jade]

Harley Post #6 / Brandy Post #6

As Lea and Guy shared a moment of ridiculous banter over the sponge's continued inane misinterpretations over what was happening, the lone Marine drew closer and closer. Brandy and Holly stepped forward nearly in tandem to cut him off from the rest of the group - the huntress putting a hand on the head of one of her axes at her side, more to reassure herself than to intentionally intimidate the young man.

Fortunately, it seemed he didn't notice - his eyes were instead fixed solely on Brandy's face as he approached, seemingly oblivious to the fact that she was attempting to bore a hole through his skull with only her glare. "Um, excuse me - I just had a few questions for you, miss. Are you from around here?"

"Yep!" Brandy, and d'Artanyan on her shoulder, remained silent; it was Holly jumping up between them and the Marine who answered. "Just a couple of people passing through, Mr. Marine! Is there something we could help you with?"

"Oh, well, um-" The Marine's eyes never left Brandy for even a second - as he continued to stare at her, Brandy's eyes went wide and her face started to go flush as she started to realize why she was attracting that much attention. "Well, your friend over there looks a lot like a wanted criminal by the name of Lea, you see, so we need to take her in for questioning. I'm sure it's just a coincidence, of course, I don't think a pretty lady like you-"

The little doctor just watched in horror as whatever else the Marine had been about to say was cut off, as an axe handle slammed into his throat over her head. Brandy's one arm was stretched out to instinctively deliver the blow, while her other hand was covering her beet red face from the attention. The man sailed across the street before landing hard on his back, laying there for several moments with no sign of getting up. The squad he had been traveling with stood there watching in horror equal to Holly's for but a moment before they began to mobilize, reaching for their weapons and moving toward the small group of Riot Gang members.

"Ms. Brandy..."

"Wh-Why do people say things like that?!" Brandy exclaimed, waving her axe hand through the air in the general direction of the man she had just laid out.

---

As the wagon slowly ascended one of the small hills - a particularly scenic one out in the countryside, with a pretty majestic tree at the crest, its boughs giving shade to the surrounding area - Sayuri's eye was trained on their surroundings. If Eda were correct, then this seemed the most likely spot for a group of bandits to stage an attempted robbery of all the places the winding country road had taken them so far. The hill top was far enough away from the other farm houses, surrounded mostly by outer fields, and it was high enough that approaching from one angle meant one would be blind to dangers on the other side until they were at the top. The tree, too, would provide plenty of cover to anyone looking to waylay folks coming or going from the markets in the larger town that the road connected to...

The snapping of a twig signaled that the Riot Gang's quartermaster was right on the money, seconds before a burly, bald man toting a nasty-looking machete stepped out from behind the tree. "We've got company, Harley," Sayuri said quietly without bothering to turn her head - and if the big brute in the back of the cart heard her, she didn't give any particular sign of it.

In the meantime, additional highwaymen had appeared - about seven in total, including the man with the machete. One hung closer to the tree as they approached, an arrow ready to be notched in his bow; the others held clubs or knives, grinning to themselves as the cart neared them at the top of the hill. The apparent leader stepped right up to the side of the road as the cart neared, sticking his blade up into the air at the little old woman sitting at the front of the cart.

"Alright then, let's see what sorts of-" The bandit leader didn't seem to register at first as the cart kept on rolling - it was only as they started down the hill that he seemed to realize what was happening. It shut him up for a moment as his eyes went wide, and then he raced ahead of the cart and put his machete just in front of the horse, who opted to stop and warily eye the piece of steel in front of it with a tired expression. "Oi! Where do you lot think you're going? This is a robbery, ya understand?!"

"Oh, is it?" Sayuri glanced around at the other thieves, and then adjusted her position at the front of the cart - only to cross one leg over the other, however. "You need this many people to steal from one little old lady? That's kind of pathetic, don't you think?"

"Best watch your tongue," the bald bandit snarled up at her, "before I feed it back to you. You have any idea who you're messing with, you little bi-" He choked on his insult as the sound of a blade being sheathed came in tandem with his machete flying from his hand - wheeling around, Sayuri was standing behind him, her newly-sheathed blade held in her off hand.

"I'm hardly the one needing a reminder to watch my tongue," she responded as his weapon clattered to the ground. "Didn't anyone ever teach you to mind your language around your elders?"

The two stood like that for a few moments - the boss of the bandits staring dumbfounded at the woman who had disarmed him faster than his eyes could follow, Sayuri watching him coolly from a few paces away. Eventually, the stunned silence was shattered by the one-eyed swordswoman sighing and shaking her head. "Are you planning on getting up and helping, Harley?"

The cart shifted - and nearly sprang up into the air as an immense weight was relieved from it and the massive figure of the Riot Gang captain stood up on her own two feet. Immediately, the horse at the front visibly sighed with relief and stood a little straighter, while the other bandits visibly shrunk backward from the mountain of a woman who had appeared seemingly from nowhere. "Oh, we're doing this?" she asked, her back turned to pretty much everything that was actually happening. A solid crack-crack accompanied the motion of her pressing her palms against her curled fingers, and then Harley turned her head toward the group of bandits. "Hell yeah - I've been itching for a good brawl since we got here!"

[The Prettiest Squish]

"And I'm telling you that if we don't act now, Plan G is going to be a bust!"

"What happened to Plan F!?"

"...Idunno, man."

"You're pouring milk on your chest as we speak! Where did you even-?"

"Hm? Did you want some?"

Before the flustered feline had an opportunity to deny his primal dairy craving, a commotion occurred just a few feet away. Guy turned his head in confusion only for his face to quickly melt with utter horror at what he saw: a Marine soldier propelled skyward by their huntress' own hand. What happened? What the hell happened in between the few seconds he spent babysitting their blue problem? By the looks of the Marine squad located further ahead of the road, it appeared that the incident was just as shocking and random to them as it was to him. 

Beads of sweat began to permeate his face as the situation became dire. In a desperate bid, he joined his palms together and meditated, Calm down, buddy. W-we can fix this. It was an accident! A spastic reflex of some kind, yes. Surely they'd believe Miss Brandy meant no harm, after all they have no reason to suspect any ill of us-

Suddenly, the blue problem appeared. "YEAH BRANDY, THAT'S WHAT IM FUCKIN' TALKIN' ABOUT! DOWN WITH THE NAVY! RIOT GANG RULES!! WOOOOOOO!!!" The bombastic bluenette cheered with both fists pumping into the sky, jumping in place and roaring as loudly as she could. Guy stood in silence, his jaw nearly touching the ground as his eyes bulged out of his head. "Are you serious? Are you serious right now?"

Lea ran to the front of the group taking center stage amidst the speechless crowd of Rioters then took both hands out before promptly shooting two middle fingers toward the naval procession. "Tell your Captain or whoever that he can sit on 'em! No one messes with us, ya dig?" The lass then turned her head to the rest of her mates and nodded with self approval at this display of dominance, her eyes shut with smug satisfaction. "Plan M, works every time."

Unbeknownst to her, the gentle giant painfully dragged both hands across his face; this day could not possibly get any worse.

[Jade]

Harley Post #7 / Brandy Post #7

Where the bald bandit leader and his seven lackeys had previously stood, proud and cocky, they now prostrated themselves before the Riot Gang's captain and quartermaster. "Man, you got me out of the cart for that?" Harley complained as she turned her back on the would-be troublemakers. "They don't even got the guts to stand their ground... I'm going back to my nap."

Up upon the cart, little old Eda was politely clapping for her two saviors. As Harley approached, she reached for her - the mountain of a woman stopped, leaning down as she was asked with a quick hand gesture. "Oooooh~!" Eda pinched Harley's cheek and smiled merrily up at the massive woman. "I knew I could count on a big gal like you to take care of some ruffians like them, hoho~!"

"Gararara! Grunts like them?" Harley grinned right back. "I've been putting them in their place since I was a kid!"

While her captain joked with the elderly farmer, Sayuri glared down the bridge of her nose at the bald dome of the bandit's leader. "Really, I think this place would be better off if we just offed you here and now," she said, cold and blunt.

"N-No!" The seven lackeys shuddered and pushed their faces further into the dirt, while their boss snapped his head up and scrambled closer to the swordswoman. "Honest! We've learned our lesson, please, just spare me and my boys...!" Before he could grab the bottom of her jacket, Sayuri smacked the man's hand away with her sheathed blade.

"Hm." Sayuri's dispassionate, one-eyed stare bore through the man's skull as he looked pleadingly up at her - and then turned away, back toward the cart. Eda's cheery smile met her first, though her gaze drifted toward Harley without lingering on their temporary companion. "What do you think, captain?"

"Huh?" Harley turned her head and looked at the bandits as if seeing them for the first time again. "Oh, what to do with 'em? Uh, well... I mean..." One of her hands went behind her neck, rubbing at the spot at the base of her skull as she tilted her head one way and then the other, as if trying to kickstart the gears in her head into turning. "I guess we put 'em to work. They want to show they're changed men, then action speaks louder than words. Yo, Eda - what do you say?"

"Oh, my..." All eyes turned to the little old lady sitting atop her cart. A cloud passed over the sun above, casting a shadow on the scene as Eda smiled sweetly - but it took on an almost sinister appearance as a stray ray of light glinted across her round glasses, sending a shudder through the eight men who had just been beaten within an inch of their lives in seconds. "But yes, I can think of some jobs to help them turn over a new leaf and live as honest men, hoho!"

---

"Are you serious? Are you serious right now?"

"He was staring at me like- Like-" Brandy's face was red as a tomato as she stammered to put together some sort of explanation. Words failed her, though, and she made a few strangled sounds before an appropriate word finally hit her. "Like some sort of lecher!"

"Like a what?"

Brandy stopped, blinked, and then stared down at the child standing beside her. "Um," she managed, quite eloquently.

"Put your weapons on the ground and your hands in the air!"

Contrary to the orders being barked at them by the Marines holding sabers and rifles, Brandy only tightened her grip on the axe she was already holding while her other hand twitched toward the head of the axe still on her hip. Holly instinctively moved to put the purple-haired huntress between her and the soldiers, though she did peek out and around past her protector. D'Artanyan, still on Brandy's shoulders, raised his hackles and hissed at the soldiers.

"Oi! Little blue b****!" came a voice from across the way. A few of the Marines from the group looked away to see who was addressing this group that they were trying to arrest - and one of them gave a shocked gasp, right before he was sent sailing. A tall woman with dark hair and a wicked grin stood where he had been a moment prior, wearing a black and purple sports bra under a sleeveless jacket with a popped collar and a pair of baggy white pants that cinched right over her bare feet.

"Captain..." An even taller man, his features obscured by a plain white mask with no apparent holes to see, or even breath, out of stood behind her, wearing a rather plain navy jumpsuit that was partially unzipped, revealing a white shirt with a cartoony depiction of a catfish underneath. He was balancing a massive crate on one shoulder, supporting it with one fingerless glove-clad hand. "With all due respect, we were meant to keep a low profile while we were stocking up on supplies..."

"Can it, man!" the woman said, rounding on him as she grabbed him by the collar of his shirt. The masked man shrugged with his free shoulder, which seemed good enough for this so-called "captain" - she tilted her entire body backward, so she was looking at the Riot Gang group upside-down. "You just shouted something about the 'Riot Gang', yeah? I'd just love to hear more~"

[The Prettiest Squish]

From out of nowhere, a stranger emerged and made quick work of one of the Marines standing in their way. Lea followed the trajectory of the lad's ascent but had yet to finish watching him fall when their mysterious savior gave quite the ill remark. The bluenette fumed in place. "Ehh? Little blue what? Where? Do you see any small blue women around here Guy? Couldn't be me, nuh uh. I mean just look at the size of these-" A gentle pair of fingers brushed against her lips before another word could be spoken.

"Hold that thought for a moment, Miss Lea. Before I develop an aneurysm..." Guy stared down this enigmatic new duo intruding upon the scene with grave caution. The woman demanded more information about their relation to the Riot Gang, a request he found concerning to say the least. In his head, he tried to remember just how far Miss Eda's home was and surmised that a hasty retreat wouldn't be viable in escaping these interested parties. By the speed of that woman's attack, he could tell she was not like some run of the mill fighter they encountered before. The only fortunate thing I can detect is that they weren't exactly looking for us before Miss Lea's outburst. If they were doing a supply run, surely that means they had other obligations to fulfill?

That may just be enough, he thought. Guy calmed himself with a deep breath before turning to face the chaotic couple standing before them. "Apologies Miss but we have nothing to offer about the Riot Gang. Our squirrelly little friend here is an avid fan of their antics so do excuse her associating with such an awful band of people." As the words left his mouth, he could feel the wrath of a vengeful tot throwing squeaky fist after fist at his kneecaps, much to his discomfort. "I'm sure you all were busy with something else so if you don't mind we'll be on our way. Sorry for the trouble!" Guy prepared to turn away, hoping that the violent arrival of the strange woman and her companion would keep the Marines distracted from the fact their monster hunting chef had just struck their comrade. Speaking of, he would need to have a very firm talk with Brandy about that unacceptable behavior! I mean what was she thinking! They were wanted criminals, it wasn't like they could freely go around and-

"HEY!!" A chill ran through his spine. He looked down only to find his fingers shushed only the air itself. "No...."

"I'm talkin' to you, little miss twinkle toes!! Whattaya wanna know about the gang, eh? You itching for a fight with Harls? She'd knock your shit to next Sunday, ya B*TCH!"

[Jade]

Harley Post #8 / Brandy Post #8

"I'm sure you all were busy with something else, so..."

"Mm." The masked man's head shifted slightly, an action meant to convey that he had shifted his attention down to his captain rather than the group she was harassing, while the woman herself seemed to be on the verge of going off and tearing Guy a new one for daring to butt in when she'd been talking to Lea. "Precisely. And I hope you can accept my apologies, on behalf of my captain, for the trouble. Come on, Shay, let's get out of here before we land in any more trou-"

"HEY!!"

Shay's barely-contained rage at Guy shifted as the sponge woman started talking up Harley - from simmering anger at the level-headed ones' attempt to defuse the situation to absolutely terrifying delight. "Now that's more like it! 'Course, y'ain't got a f***ing clue what you're talking about, but that's the way with small fry, ain't it, Jack?"

It was subtle, but the large man's shoulders slumped and what sounded distinctly like a sigh came from behind his mask. "Now why did you have to go and do something like that, Quizon-Ho Lea...?"

For a moment, the world went still and silent. Brandy stood at the ready, her second axe drawn now as her eyes scanned the scene laid out in front of her. D'Artanyan had slipped off her shoulder to join Holly, the two of them ready to bolt for it if the situation got any more tense - but both now stood there in shock at Jack identifying Lea.

Slowly, slowly, Shay turned back around on Jack, glanced back to Lea, and then quickly grabbed Jack by the front of his shirt and violently shook him back and forth. "You mean you knew she was part of the Riot Gang right away and didn't say anything, you f****ing punk-a** motherf***er-?!"

"Hey, he's right! That is 'Super Sponge'!"

"And isn't that 'Corkscrew' Shay?"

"Someone call base, we'll need reinforcements!"

"Holly." Brandy half-whispered, trying to make herself heard over the sounds of the townsfolk running and screaming as the Marines shifted into more battle-ready positions around the pirates. She sensed more than saw the little doctor tense up at her voice. "You and d'Artanyan get out of here. Things are about to get ugly - and we need Harley and Sayuri." The sound of soft footfalls gave her the confirmation that Holly had left, and the huntress nodded to herself before raising her voice a bit more. Perhaps not tranquilizing Lea when she'd suggested it as a joke initially had been a mistake... "Guy - make a break for it if you need to. I can grab Lea and run too, if it's needed."

---

"You girls sure you don't want to tag along?"

The cart had arrived on the outskirts of the town of Port West proper, but was now stopped. Harley was stretching out after waking up from her travel nap, while Sayuri handled speaking to Eda properly. "I'm very sorry, especially after all of the kindness you've shown us - but yes. We'll need to head back. At least we aren't leaving you without help now?" Her one eye flicked over to the former would-be bandits behind the cart, comparing the bruises they'd received from getting smashed into the ground a little while ago while they waited for the cart to get moving again. "But... We can't really go into town. I hope you can understand."

"Like I said, I would be more than happy to speak to the authorities to see about resolving whatever matter you two got yourselves involved with," Eda said, and then raised her hand to stop Sayuri from responding immediately. "It wouldn't be a problem at all. You two have been nothin' but helpful this whole time, and I've got a little bit of influence around these parts, hoho~!"

Sayuri's smile was strained - while, internally, she scrambled for some way to resolve the awkward situation. "While we appreciate that, I'm not sure it's something you can really help us out with, Ms. Eda... But, even if you could, I think Harley would agree that we have to make our own way. But we won't ever forget the kindness you've shown us." She gave the woman a from the waist bow, lowing her head, and prayed that it would be enough to get the little old farmer to back down.

"Hm... Well..." Eda took Sayuri's face in her hands, raising the swordswoman's head so that they were looking at each other again. "Heh. The pride of youth, thinking you have to do everything all on yor own. Oh well, I'm not going to talk any sense into you two, now am I? You do what you need to." The little old woman moved back to the cart, clambering back up slowly to reclaim her seat at the front so she could smile down at Sayuri. "But, truly, thank you two. You've been a great help - so take care."

"Ah, we're actually going to be heading back-"

"Call it an old woman's intuition," Eda interrupted with a sly smile. "I don't think we'll be seeing each other again, Sayuri and Harley. You two be careful out there on the sea with your friends now, alright?"

Sayuri stood there quietly as the cart resumed its forward movement, considering what Eda had just said for a few moments, before turning around to where Harley was in the middle of a stretch in which she was bending sideways with her one hand planted on her hip and the other arm held up and over her head. "... It is weird that we didn't see the others on their way back, isn't it?"

"I guess?" Harley answered from her mid-stretch position. A moment later, she straightened up and took her chin between her pointer finger and thumb. "I mean, we could go looking for them ourselves, now that we wouldn't be getting Eda in trouble by hanging out with her. The Log-whatever should've picked out our next destination by now, right?"

The Riot Gang's quartermaster pulled the small, oh-so-fragile device out from a pocket and observed the hanging needle within for a second. Even after it should have settled, it still jittered a bit. "No, but the Pose should be set soon. If we can go in quietly, maybe, but Harley-" Sayuri glanced up, only to see that Harley was already walking away, toward the city. "Harley! Don't just wander off while I'm in the middle of telling you not to do anything stupid!"

---

The scene where three groups had converged had become a battlefield in the time since. Brandy had lost track of the woman called Shay, who had apparently singled out Lea - as the only member of their group with a bounty that tied her directly to the Riot Gang - which had left her face-to-mask with the man called Jack. The Marines had swarmed in as well, though their interferences were minimal and mostly easy to ignore, especially in the brief moments where the brawling pirates set aside their differences to knock the gnats away.

A solid blow slammed into Brandy's body past her axes which had moved a fraction of a second too slowly to intercept it, sending her flying backward and away from the masked man. She collided with something solid, and started to fall - only to find herself seemingly hanging in the air. No, not just hanging, she was held aloft by... "Harley?!"

"Brandy!" The mountain of a woman grinned, and then looked over toward the masked man as he readjusted his grip on the one part metal braces, one part knuckle dusters that covered his forearms - and her grin widened. "I can't believe you guys started having fun without me!"