The Starry Sky [LOG(s)][SUB]

[Flame]

Thread Title/Link:– The Starry Sky - Flames at Sea
Total Post/Word Count:– 10,109
Brief Synopsis:–

SPOILER: Click to show

The story begins on a ship in the Grand Line. Kano Toro arrives on a marine ship and begins his attack. He is quickly reinforced by a crew of pirates. After their victory there is a flashback explaining the situation that brought them to that situation. Its revealed that they are part of a large attack on the Marine Base of the Grand Steel Flotilla. As the story jumps back the attack begins. As teh ships come in range, Kano flies on ahead. After some shenanigans Kano's group makes it to Port Steele where Kano fights one Captain Ardul (Kenbun Haki Trainee) and manages to defeat him and take the Port. The log continues in part 2 ...

Thread Title/Link:– The Starry Sky - Stars on High
Total Post/Word Count:– 10,704
Brief Synopsis:–

SPOILER: Click to show

The log continues as Kano leads his group from the ruins of Port Steele to the prison on the island known as Prison 5. There he fights the Prison Warden (Buso Haki Trainee) and manages to defeat the warden as well. After taking a short break Kano chases the front line again before meeting with the Vice Admiral that controls the Grand Steel Flotilla. After being soundly defeated Kano meets with personal tragedy. Finally after overcoming it, Kano chases back after the marine vice admiral to find his revenge. On the way he defeats a third Marine Captain (Buso + Kenbun Haki Trainee) until he finally finds the Vice Admiral engaged with the leader of their attack. When Kano jumps in he awakens Haki and his Overdrive and manages to defeat the already exhausted Vice Admiral and win the day for the assault.

Character Name/Link:– Kano Toro
X-Poinz at Submission:– 3263
Notable Feats:–
- Defeated a Marine Captain aboard his ship
- Sunk 1 Marine Vessel
- Defeated Marine Captain Ardul, Kenbunshoku Haki Trainee at Port Steele
- Defeated Prison Warden of Prison 5, Busosohku Haki Trainee
- Defeated a number of 125th Shock Troop Marines (some specialized unit from Grand Steel Flotilla)
- Defeated Marine Captain Alliq, Kenbun + Buso Haki Trainee, at Grand Steel Flotilla HQ
- Defeated Vice Admiral Shingo, Leader of the Grand Steel Flotilla, (with most of the work having already been done by Captain Mateo Coppers)
- Aided in the defeat and destruction of the Marine Base, Grand Steel Flotilla
- Also awakened Busoshoku Haki and an Overdrive

[Phantasma]

Grading time, grading time.

[Phantasma]

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Name and Link: Kano Toro
User: flame08
Total X-Poinz: 3263 [Total] + ((Log 1 200 [10,000+ worded post, 0.02 per word.] x 1.10 [Social and Proactivity bonuses included.])+ (Log 2 200 [10,000+ worded post, 0.02 per word.] x 1.15 [Social, Proactivity and Developmental bonuses included.])) = 3713 XPZ

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SPOILER: Click to show

{Click me for notes!}Notes: Log numero uno-  I'll be the first to admit I couldn't read this as thoroughly as I would've liked, but I'm not going to hand out excuses. Mechanically the first log had very small issues, a need for word variation for instance, maybe a misplaced letter here or there. Other then that it was sound and I had no difficulty in navigating paragraph after paragraph. At some point the color code might've been mismatched with the speaker but that might have been my own imagination.

    Solid idea with the operation, had plenty of dialogue to space out the noncombat scenes. Almost a little too short, but Kano couldn't help that he was passed out for a good majority of the while until fighting was already closing in. As always the fighting choreography was good, the variety of enemies you sent after your character was also a nice touch.

    Good job.

Log bugaloo- As a continuation of the first log this will be even more short, sorry about that. Again minor issues with word variation and mismatching color with the wrong speakers-- which is fine. Since context clues did make it clear who you intended to have shouting or proclaiming what.

    Right mix of powerful words to drive the emotions home and the final fight was very interesting. Not only did you introduce your overdrive for Kano but his Haki-- I do know it would've been highly unlikely but a part of me was hoping the final confrontation would've been less about Kano closing the deal after the damage Mateo inflicted. Nonetheless you left the thread on an ominous note and hit all the necessary points you needed to. Enjoy your loot.

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Enjoy your loot!