[PLOT SUB] Remember Fireworks Happen

[Kami-Gaz]

Plot Title/Link: Remember Remember… Fireworks Happen
Mission Number: N/A
Total Number of Posts: 54
Plot Summary: A group of strangers meet in some odd circumstances and escape out of the cells they are in and venture into the tunnels under the island.

The group come across a firefight between one of the warring factions on the island and the marines, which they stop… by taking the winning faction hostage and getting them to show them to the treasure room.

Once there they learn of the plot to blow up the castle. Navi, the guy in charge said He would press the trigger and explained his plan.

As they leave the treasure room they meet a marine captain and promptly run away while creating cave in blockages.

The detonator was triggered and the timer started as the group ran away, using the explosion and the crumbling tower to escape.

When the dust and debris settled the moat to the castle was drained, and the entire north west tower was gone, the streets and immediate buildings around the tower were damaged as were the walls it was connected too. There was a large loss of life and a lot of wounded

Character Name/Link: Navi Vis
Number of Posts: 17
Experience: 630
Poinz Reward %: 50%
Feedback: Nah

Character Name/Link: Leona Ward
Number of Posts: 17
Experience: 0
Poinz Reward %: 0
Feedback: (For now No.)

Character Name/Link: Adrian Idol
Number of Posts: 16
Experience: 0
Poinz Reward %: 0
Feedback: Yes

Character Name/Link: Flynn Toctic
Number of Posts: 5
Experience: 1320
Poinz Reward %: 0
Feedback: (For Now NO.)

[Deleted]

Clammed!

[Deleted]

-------->Individual Ratings!

Vis Navi (Kami-Gaz) -- 5/5

Ward Leona (Vio) -- 5/5

Idol Adrian (York) -- 5/5

SPOILER: Click to show

The Good:

The Bad:

[/i] writing that came after.

You see, most of the time, it's unnecessary to even copy a whole speech from someone else's post. Your post flows and makes perfect sense without the reader giving two damns about what they already read. However, I, like Vi, also do it, but you see when she does it, it's usually a little piece. Something to give the reader an idea of what part of the previous events her character is reacting to at that moment. Even if it turned out to be a person's whole speech she were reacting to, she'd most likely only give you the first sentence.

Practice getting those points across without copying a person's previous speech and you'd find yourself doing it less often. Sometimes, you may do it for flavor, but it'd never be the whole, long quotation.

That's pretty much it that I see to give you advice on. As I tell all writers, proofread your work and try your best to catch typos and such. No matter how long you do this, proofreading will always go hand-in-hand with the writing of great works! [/ul]

The Awesome:

[/spoiler]
Toctic Flynn (Tokoz) -- 5/5

Errors in Template:

N/A

Totals and Endzone!

---->Vis Navi: 757/1,500;
Details:

SPOILER: Click to show

EXP at Time of Submission: 630/1,500
Base EXP Earned: 17 * 5 = 85
Bonus EXP Earned: 17 * 5 = 85 ((50% (43) converted to Poinz.))
New EXP Total: 630 + 85 + 42 = 757

---->Ward Leona: 170/500; ((Ayyy! D-class! \o/))
Details:

SPOILER: Click to show

EXP at Time of Submission: 0/150
Base EXP Earned: 17 * 5 = 85
Bonus EXP Earned: 17 * 5 = 85
New EXP Total: 0 + 85 + 85 = 170

---->Idol Adrian: 160/500; ((Ayyy! D-class! \o/))
Details:

SPOILER: Click to show

EXP at Time of Submission: 0/150
Base EXP Earned: 16 * 5 = 80
Bonus EXP Earned: 16 * 5 = 80
New EXP Total: 0 + 80 + 80 = 160

---->Toctic Flynn: 1,370/1,500;
Details:

SPOILER: Click to show

EXP at Time of Submission: 1,320/1,500
Base EXP Earned: 5 * 5 = 25
Bonus EXP Earned: 5 * 5 = 25
New EXP Total: 1,320 + 25 + 25 = 1,370

Please update your profiles!

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