A Sign of Trouble: Ravens at Odds [Unfinished Sub]

[Flame]

Plot Title/Link: A Sign of Trouble: Ravens At Odds
Total Number of Posts: 28
Plot Summary:

• The thread begins with Merle getting mad at Kenny after a misguided comment. A short barrage of insults followed by an extremely one-sided fight ended with Merle grasping Kenny's throat as he was in weasel form. He was then thrown overboard.
• Throwing Kenny off the boat prompts Marlus to jump in after Kenny. In the ensuing moments of tension as Marlus brings Kenny back on board, Merle leaves diving off the other side of the ship and swims away.
• Kenny and Marlus arrive in Abundeen. And after a little getting around run into Kelly as well as a group of bounty hunters. A fight ensues between Kenny Marlus and the bounty hunters and finally calms down after a member of bear cavalry appears to break it up. At the end the man is revealed to be Ewan, an old friend of Marlus'

Character Name/Link: Marlus Caine
Number of Posts: 11
Experience: 685/1500
Poinz Reward %: 100%
Feedback: Yes

Character Name/Link: Kenny Bacon
Number of Posts: 10
Experience: 155/500
Poinz Reward %: 0%
Feedback: No

Character Name/Link: Merle Tali
Number of Posts: 5
Experience: 358/500
Poinz Reward %: 0%
Feedback: No

[viruswithshoes]

I got it.

[viruswithshoes]

-------->Individual Ratings!

Marlus Caine (Vio) -- 5/5

SPOILER: Click to show

{Spoiler}The Good:

[/b]: Aside from the usual good flow of your posts, I particularly liked how you gave the reader a look in your character's personality without breaking the flow the story. It was nice and subtle.

Pro 2: Very good use of description. While reading the mundane things felt real and greatly enhanced the your posts.

The Bad:

[/b]: Very little to speak up. Just minor grammar, spelling and punctuation issues. Nothing a sharp eye and a re-read can't fix.
[/ul][/ul][/spoiler]


Kenny Bacon (Gaz) -- 4/5

Merle Tali (Flamey) -- 4.5/5[/font]

Errors in Template:

N/A

Totals and Endzone!

---->Marlus Caine (Vio): 740/1500
Details:

SPOILER: Click to show

{Spoiler}EXP at Time of Submission: 685/1500
Base EXP Earned: 11 * 5 = 55
Bonus EXP Earned: 11 * 5 = 55 Poinz
New EXP Total: 685 + 55 + 55 Poinz = 740/1500

---->Kenny Bacon (Gaz): 245/500
Details:

SPOILER: Click to show

{Spoiler}EXP at Time of Submission: 155/500
Base EXP Earned: 10 * 5 = 50
Bonus EXP Earned: 10 * 4 = 40
New EXP Total: 155 + 50 + 40 = 245/500

 ---->Merle Tali (Flamey)1: 203/500
Details:

SPOILER: Click to show

{Spoiler}EXP at Time of Submission: 358/500
Base EXP Earned: 5 * 5 = 25
Bonus EXP Earned: 5 * 4.5 = 23 (Rounded up)
New EXP Total: 358 + 25 + 23 = 406/500

Please update your profiles!

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[/spoiler]