Crossroads [SUB]

[Lord Bromosalino]

Thread Title/Link:– Crossroads
Location/Mission Number:– Hawk Route, Open Seas
Total Post/Word Count:– 24
Brief Synopsis:–

SPOILER: Click to show

Leaving the Stronghair Island behind, Marine on sabbatical Isaac Saifer re-boards "The Little Cissonius" as he recounts the last six months since taking a leave of absence. As the merchant vessel finds itself stalled to a crawl due to the slowing of the winds and waves. Strangely enough, the crew finds another stranded stranger on the high seas who goes by the name of Charon and provides him transportation until he can find out what is wrong with his own vessel. Lieutenant Junior Grade Saifer however recognizes Charon as a wanted pirate of the notorious Slayer Pirates, Miles Suzuki. Confronting the pirate and learning about his history, Isaac elects to allow the young man to go free. However, before they can continue on their way, "The Little Cissonius" is stopped by a group of auditing Marines led by none other than a lifelong friend of Isaac's. Following a welcomed reunion, Isaac is more or less forced to rejoin the Marines in full and takes his leave from the traveling merchants.

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Character Name/Link:– Isaac Saifer
Individual Post Count:– 12 posts
X-Poinz at Submission:– 1559 X-Poinz
Notable Feats:– N/A

Character Name/Link:– Myles Suzuki
Individual Post Count:– 12 posts
X-Poinz at Submission:– 959 X-Poinz
Notable Feats:– N/A

*Both myself and Wobbuffet would appreciate feedback if time allows. Thank you!*

[Vio]

^{Sorry for the wait, but I'll be taking this one! Expect your grade by the weekend!}

[Vio]

^{THE FINAL SCORES ARE IN!}

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^{Lord Bromosalino as Isaac Saifer!}

X-Poinz Gained: 198 X-Poinz

SPOILER: Click to show

{_BREAKDOWN}

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New Total X-Poinz: 1,757

Congratulations! You’ve just passed the threshold for C Class! You can now make and upgrade FiSts to a maximum of C Class, and have access to one additional Trait!

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^{Sam as Myles Suzuki!}

X-Poinz Gained: 198 X-Poinz

SPOILER: Click to show

{_BREAKDOWN}

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New Total X-Poinz: 1,157

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^{SPECIFIC FEEDBACK}

Overall, I enjoyed reading this. The heavy focus on Isaac and Myles’ internal discords despite their outward portrayals was quite interesting to me, though I have to admit I feel the thread suffered from being a bit disjointed at times. That’s really all that stopped you two from getting all three bonus categories. See more below!

SPOILER: Click to show

{Isaac Saifer}
<sub>I’m impressed on the amount of detail put into NPC portrayal. Captain Imbros felt very much alive, as too did the scenery you described; something that I feel you shied away from more and more as the thread progressed. Isaac’s silent quandary was easily one of the most fascinating things to come from this. I also enjoyed how Isaac put together Myles’ plight!

On the whole, I feel the heavy internalisation of the thread is one thing that caught you out. For the first few rounds especially, I felt like Isaac was resigned to a back seat role almost in his entirely up until the fourth or fifth round of posting. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, though. My biggest point here is what drew you away from the full score; while you definitely pushed the plot forward, it mostly felt like it was Isaac’s story almost exclusively up until the interrogation.

All in all, despite the faults (some a clear result of short threads), I enjoyed the reading!</sub>

SPOILER: Click to show

{Myles Suzuki}
<sub>I was captivated by Myles’ roller coaster of emotions throughout this thread, from the existential dread he suffered whilst isolated at sea, to the clear joy of being rescued, then further to the cold acceptance of being discovered. I very much enjoyed his reflections during the interrogation, too; Myles’ own opinions of life are wonderful to see!

Your biggest drawback here was mostly the result of the thread being so short. I’d imagine a longer thread would’ve given you a lot more to work with, but that’s often the downside of these shorter threads. A bit of proactivity on your side would’ve possibly helped you guys out, but reading the thread says a lot about it all. You win some, you lose some!

Keep at it! I’m happy to say I enjoyed these insights into the ferryman greatly!</sub>

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PLEASE UPDATE YOUR PROFILES!

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