A Musical Heist: The Ballad of Constantine and The Top

[mildofthewild]

"Out of the way! Stop that thief!"

"He stole my furs, that cretin stole my furs!"

"He made off with my satchel of apples!"

"AAAAAIIIIIIIEEEEE! Someone stole my brassiere!"

The screams of not only guardsmen but residents fill the streets of Illia Town, a hot pursuit taking place as armored guards swarm after a lone figure jumping from merchant stalls, slowly making his way upwards towards the rooftops. A pair of baggy, brown worker's pants flutter as the man's feet pound against the stone tiles and flutter as he dives through open windows. His open neck shirt flails wildly around his lithe body as he pumps his arms in a sprinter's dash, and the glee in his eyes was concealed by a pair of rather oversized sunglasses. The biggest distinction of who this ruffian was was the grin plastered across his face. 

B.G. Tempo. 

"Grrrr, put some backbone into it! Pump those legs, do not let him get away again!" One of the guards shouts, holding a lance aloft as they point at the fleeting thief. Several of the soldiers got the distinct feeling he was even playing with them, as even if they found a slight chance to grab at the flaunting cloth waving behind the him, he'd manage to pull ahead without much effort and keep the game going. 

"Sheesh, these guys are slow today...hey! You still back there?! Come on, pound those chicken legs! Mush, boys, mush!" B.G. says, making an acrobatic leap and landing on an overturned barrel, riding it through the streets while cackling like a maniac. 

"WHAT?! DON'T YOU MOCK US!" One of the guards says, facing puffing up as he pulls ahead of the others, more determined than ever to catch him. 

"Woah, look at you!" B.G. says, turning around and watching the soldier, all while traversing backwards. "Who would've guessed that'd put you in gear? Alright, in that case, c'mon, work off those meat pies and mead! If I knew making fun of you guys would speed ya up, I'd do it all the time!"

"YOU DO DO IT ALL THE TIME!" The guard shouts back, enraged and puffing heavily as they reach their hand out to grab the thief. "But now I'm taking you in for it! I'll finally have caught you, B.G. The Top!"

B.G. almost seems to be egging the guard on as he approaches, even going so far as to extend his arm for him to grab. Closer...closer....

"Eh. Bored now." The thief mutters before grinning wildly, jumping off of the barrel...and onto the guard's head! Using him as a footstool, the thief kicks off onto the nearest flagpole, swinging once, twice, thrice, before flinging himself to the rooftops, heading for the wall dividing the sectors. 

"Well, boys, I'd love to say it was fun...actually no, I wouldn't, but thanks for the loot! We'll do this again soon! But until then, my audience, I bid you...adieu..." B.G. says, pulling from his loot bag a rather large brassiere that he fashions onto himself, brimming with confidence before he bounds away, cackling as the guards cease their chase. 

"...He got away..."

"Again..."

"Grrrr....I HATE B.G. THE TOP!" 

---

It took most of the afternoon to head back to Barbada Town, B.G. fidgeting on his steed as he was itching for something to do on the journey. He didn't even get to use his spinny tops...

He pulls out the toys at this thought, watching bemusedly as the objects dance on the tip of his finger. A travelling merchant passes along next to the thief, giving a friendly wave before noting his strange choice of attire; he wore a fur liner around his neck and a large brassiere on his head, the straps bouncing lightly against his cheeks as he turns. With a slight wave himself, the two part ways, the merchant muttering about young ones these days...

---

Finally, around the onset of evening, B.G. makes his way back into the worn and swaying Barbada Town, chuckling lightly as he jumps down from his horse and collects his loot. 

"Same time tomorrow, Sassafras. Go do...I dunno, whatever it is you do." The young man says, giving a small slap to the horse's rear that sets it trotting away, to god knows where. Reaching in, the thief takes a large, juicy crunch of one of the apples, the core seeming to twirl on his finger tip before he tosses it in the air, catching it and taking another bite. Not the best haul, but hey, at least he can eat. 

"Alright, let's see...pendant...underwear...few beli...sheesh, who'd figure nobles to be so stingy, hardly carrying anything anymore," he mutters again, disappointed as he heads for a restaurant. They'd at least help to buy a decent meal, something he hadn't had in a good while...

[Sam]

Barbada town wasn't what he expected, it certainly was nothing like Ilias with its cobbled streets and stone buildings. He wondered if he could find anyone willing to work with him in this dingy place. Not to offend Barbada but to someone like Constantine, the place was less than welcoming. Sure it had diversity in terms of people which was nice since it made a twenty-foot man like himself not as amusing of sight as it had been in the Capital.

This was a disaster if anything... Constantine's entire band had gotten sick they'd be unable to perform anytime soon. He didn't want to cancel his performance in Ilias! That would be uncalled for... maybe he would stop by Barbada town and ask for any local musicians. It was a tough situation but he felt he had no choice... his only resource now was time. Time to find anyone willing to perform as musicians for his grand concert of his.

As he walked through the muddled streets of Barbada he wondered where he could find the local inn was... they usually had all sorts of crazy folk. He finally came upon a wooden two-story building outside of which was a short blond man although maybe that was a bias statement on Constantine's part as, for the most part, almost everyone was short when compared to him. He paused for a moment looking at the man entering what he could discern as a restaurant... inn... tavern? At this point, it didn't matter. Where ever people congregated that's where he wanted to be.

After waiting Constantine opened up the door of the restaurant, it was small for him so he had to constantly keep his head low and hunch over to walk anywhere. The people in the place continued to eat merrily ignoring his presence. People of all walks of life found themselves here... undercover pirates... bounty hunters... local fishermen. Mostly, people, you didn't want problems with. But hey! Maybe a few of them could be of use to him. Besides, the smell of food was quite enticing. So it couldn't hurt to at the very least investigate! Right? 

Maybe he would have a meal of his own while he was here. Constantine approached the back of the place, a tender was standing cleaning a glass cup with a white rag, he seemed to be chewing on something. Gum? Maybe. Behind him where various wooden barrels full of beer. He seemed busy with other patrons so the large musician decided to quietly wait his turn. Meanwhile, he crouched down on the ground... none of the seats in the area could really accommodate him so he was forced to sit on the floor.  He looked around the room, his purple tinted glasses shining with the warm lights of candles that lit the restaurant's interior. Watching people enjoy their meals mixed with the smell finally made him settle in the fact he would have something to eat. Constantine let out a sigh, his stomach grumbling a bit. 

"Vhat... vill I have..."

[mildofthewild]

B.G. sits at the bar top, fidgeting in his seat as he gingerly sips at a tankard a little too big for him, turning around and spinning occasionally just to get a nice look at the crowd, face set as he watches everyone enjoying themselves. It was so peaceful, so merry, so...so...

"Boring." He says, taking another draft before spinning once more, the man behind the counter starting to get irritated. 

"B.G., if you break that stool, you're paying for it."

"Even if I did break it, which I won't, but IF I did...I wouldn't have enough to pay for it."

"That's no excuse! I'd just have you work back here!" 

"If I were to work for a living, which I won't, but IF-"

"Alright, alright, I get it, just...just please be careful."

"I'm never careful..." He says ominously, taking another sip, granting himself a full beer foam mustache as he turns back, drumming his fingers on the counter top. He'd been in a rut for a bit; he figured Illusia would be THE place to set up as a primo thief, but the routine was starting to wear thin. He has too many ants in his pants, and they were bitin...and...and stingin...and everything ants do...

"What do ants do..." he mutters before noticing just what came in..."Holy mackerel, you see that guy?!" 

"Yea, don't see many like him these days. Big 'un, too-Hey, B.G. where ya goin?" 

"Just gonna welcome him to the neighborhood! Figure he can be entertaining for about 15 minutes."

"Do NOT cause any trouble, you hear me?!" 

"What kind of entertainer would I be if I didn't cause trouble!" B.G. calls back, a grin spreading as he walks up to the giant of a man, taking in his whole stature...

"You know, i'm really stumped on something...how'd you fit through the door?" B.G. asks, comparing the man's height to the door with his hands, almost as if trying to figure out a puzzle. "They don't really make sizes for people who eat their vegetables...or a whale, it's kind of hard to tell with you. BG! Put er there, pal...just, y'know, don't break my bones or anything, I'm fragile.

"By the way, you alright just sitting on the floor? Trust me, I know the owner, they do NOT clean up that well. Let me know if you feel any itchin' down there, I suspect the dust bunnies got teeth."

[Sam]

"Ha?"

Constantine turned to view the blonde thief next to him. He was spinning in his chair and seemed very talkative. Constantine, for his part, knew to be careful around these odd types. They usually didn't bode well... but he himself wasn't too afraid of keeping himself safe especially with smaller people.

Besides, maybe this jovial fellow knew about any people who played music around these parts. He had, after all, talked about how 'gonna welcome him to the neighborhood' so that meant this guy was probably familiar with the area.

"Me? How did I fit? By crouching of course. Zha Blau Seas aren't too friendly for people my size... Gongongongongon!"

He laughed, it was true! In the Grand, Line buildings were often larger and better for accommodating people of his stature. But in the Blues things became a bit more obscure since for the most part people were... well fairly average.

"Vhale? I didn't know volk ate vhales! Zhats news to me!"

Constantine scratched his chin for a moment the joke having been lost on him. His size was something so natural to him that in reality, it wasn't something he often thought about. Speaking of things he hadn't thought about this spinning fellow did make a good point... it was true he was sitting on the ground which he hadn't expected to be clean. But in reality, he didn't think there was any choice left for him. He'd just have to wash his pants after this.

"Vhile you may be correct Gentleman! I believe I'd break one awf zha normal chairs. Gongongongon!"

He laughed again, just the thought of one those spinning chairs snapping under him was something that made him laugh. But then again maybe he shouldn't laugh! He rather not break something... paying for broken chairs didn't seem like a fun endeavor after all. Finally, Constantine was reminded once more by his grumbling stomach of his immediate hunger. He turned to B.G. Tempo and asked.

"Say, do you recommend anyzhing on zha menu?"

[mildofthewild]

"Nah," BG says, picking up the menu and looking through himself. "Honestly, this place doesn't know good food if it bit em on the tuckus. THAT being said, this ole meat log thing is as good as a meat log can be. I mostly just come for beer," BG punctuates this by taking another long drink, wiping his mouth as he looks around. "All the nobles got the good eats, s'why I usually head over to Illia Town around lunchtime. Say...

"So, you're from the Grand Line too? That makes sense, seein as you're liable to make most people cry here with that chest alone. And I ain't no gentleman! Get that through yer head, and we'll be good!" It occurs to BG that he didn't even know this fellow's name, the thief deciding to sit on the floor next to him, feeling the overbearing power of his stature already. 

"Like I said, name's B.G. So, what do I call ya? I think Whale Eater ain't gonna cut it. And what's with the accent, I ain't never heard one like it." 

[Sam]

"Ha? Fleisch log?"

Constantine looked down at the menu, he'd take this man's word. Meat long sounded hard like a morsel especially for the big man... one who had at one point been a Prince with all matter of food at his disposal. Constantine furrowed his a brow a bit. Maybe he would wait to eat and drink the cheap beer instead. A whole barrel of beer that was... it was the closest thing to a mug full for him.

"I'll just have a bier cask, zhank you."

The rockstar let the bartender know, the man gave him a nod writing down his order. Constantine then turned back to his small blonde friend, the man was very energetic... like a spark almost. Although the spinning made Constantine think of tops. Little did he know he had the right idea. More questions began to come in from this B.G. fellow. He was from the Grand Line too and not a gentleman according to himself. Constantine made a mental note to not call him gentleman again.

"Again vis zha vhales... Gongongongongon!"

He laughed, the prospect of eating a whale was rather absurd to him. Not because he doubted he could indeed eat one... after all normal-sized people ate cows and those were pretty large when compared to them. The absurdity more so came from the fact he would actually go about such an endeavor. Whale sounded hardly appetizing... it was just a bag of flesh coated in blubber and Constantine wasn't exactly fond of extremely greasy foods.

"I am Constantine J. Asmodeas! Vell met B.G.!"

Constantine exclaimed giving him a wide toothy grin. For the most part, his teeth where pretty normal save for the canines of both his top and bottom which were unusually sharp. B.G. was right... to the average blue dweller Constantine was basically a monster. His appearance alone would be enough to make a handful of people run. Little did they know that the large man was as good as harmless not really interested in picking fights.

"My accent? I'm from... very very very far away B.G."

Constantine paused, he lowered his sunglasses to make a clear eye contact revealing his purple cat-like slender eyes.

"I'm from New Vorld! Gongongongon!"

The large man laughed, fixing his purple-tinted sunglasses once again hiding his eyes. Finally, the tender came by putting the beer cask on the table. Constantine grabbed it in his fist removing the top and giving it a chug. After which he wiped his mouth.

"Say B.G... do you know of any musicians in zha area?"

[mildofthewild]

The new world?! B.G. hardly met anyone from the Grand Line, and this lummox was from THAT far off?

"Woah, the New World?! The hell are you doin' in some crummy island like this?" B.G. says, finishing off his own beer, looking around before swiping another patron's mug and starting on that as well.

The more he talked to him, he started to take a liking to this Constantine. His accent was funny and he even found B.G. funny, which was enough to boost the young man's ego. He had been in need of the attention for a while...

"Musicians? Hmm," B.G. says, musing as he drums on his chin, thinking to all of the island's towns on Illusia...

"Well, if you want somewhere to look, it'd be Illia Town. They got all kinds of guilds, figure they should have some travelling circus or whatever. I can lead you there, but I'd bet I can be a mean musician myself. Been practicing on a very special instrument, check it out."

B.G. stands up, dusting off his clothes and shoulders before lifting and arm...

Faaaaart

He placed one hand into the crook of his armpit and squeezed, doing it a few more times, garnering a few chuckles but mostly a swarm of rolling eyes as he belted a quick ditty.

"Yep, I'd reckon that's the best armpit you're ever gonna get! No applause necessary, Constantine, but a tip would be nice! Havent washed these clothes in..." B.G. holds up a finger to take a sniff, wretching from the verdict his nose gave him. "...in a good bit."

[Sam]

"Vhat am I doing on an island like zhis? Zhat's a funny story..."

Constantine said, he was about to laugh but then he remembered his father. He remembered the Syndari Kingdom in all its splendor. He frowned for a moment, but as he took another chug from the beer cask he decided it was a Merry moment and it was no use wasting it in bad memories. With that said, he let out the truth.

"Vell! I'd live zhere still but my Fazher disowned me! GONGONGON!"

His laughter got louder, tears of joy began to fall out of his eyes as he said it. It wasn't that funny really... but deep down the pain made him laugh. It was an awkward thing about the human brain and how it worked. Constantine wiped the tears and turned back to B.G.

"I am actually here to perform in Ilias... I am a musician kind of a big deal here in the Vest Blue."

The man lowered his sunglasses and gave him a wink. Someone in the bar stood up and pointed at him.

"I knew it! Can I have an autograph?"

Constantine turned around, revealing massive black wings on his back. He gave the man a nod and motioned him to come over. He reached into his pocket pulling out a massive pen and a notepad. He began to sign it. The rockstar handed the man the piece of paper which he hugged tightly.

"Anyzhing for a fan of mine!"

The man grabbed the paper and hugged it tightly his cheeks turning pink in glee like a fangirl.

"Wait until the others hear about this!"

He exclaimed running out of the bar. Constantine quitely chuckled turning back to meet B.G.'s eyes. Ilias? Damn, he had just been there... cheaping out had been bad for business. Not matter, at least now he had B.G. to accompany him on the way back. He looked intently at the guy now claiming to play a musical instrument.

"Oh, you do!?"

Constantine said excitedly, an excitement that quickly burnt out. His eyes squinting for a moment and a frown appearing on his face. It was just a jest on the man's part. To be expected, Constantine made another mental note: 'B.G. is a fool a fun guy, but also a fool' after letting out a sigh he burst out into laughter once more. He reached into his pocket pulling out a coin that he flipped over to B.G. the tip he had asked for.

"Gongongon, you got me zhere B.G.! Yea had me fooled? In any case, I'll take you up on your offer! To Ilias, vee march!"

[mildofthewild]

B.G. smiles broadly, half expecting the large man to beat his face in, but thankfully he was more than pleased! Pretty virtuous, considering he was dealing with a celebrity of all things.

"Huh, famous celebrity, huh? If your music is so great, I'd have heard of it! But, I'll give it a pass. You wanna get to Illia? Fine by me, though we'll probably need to stay in the outer layers, I'm sort of...wanted right now. On account of this," he says, pointing to the brassiere strapped to his head, pulling it away and wearing it like a scarf.

"Nobles don't know nothin' about music anyway...uh, no offense," B.G. says, realizing Constantine technically could be considered royalty...

"At any rate, Illia, we're on our way! I'd say by horseback but uh...not sure we'll find one you can ride, so walking is fine. It's far off though, so if you need some food, do it now."

[Sam]

"Illia... yes... about zhat..."

Constantine laughs a bit nervously, the large man puts his fingers up to his mouth covering it slightly. He tries to look away from B.G. as if about to tell a lie. Expect in this case he wasn't... it was more so something he did out of sheer embarrassment. He had been in Illia and had wasted time coming here again to find someone for cheaper only to hear that he should have looked in Illia all along. Being a non-native to this territory sure was harsh.

"I came from Illia... my first-time zhere vas taking zha river zhat leads directly into it. I took a small river-boat zhere and another to get down here."

The large man explains it would seem he'd likely have to travel on foot back. Something he was well aware of... the next boat back to the place would come by in two days and Constantine didn't exactly want to wait that long for that. The other, odd thing he noticed was B.G. claiming he was a wanted man. Something that rubbed Constantine the wrong way a bit but something he was willing to overlook. The large man tended to avoid trouble, it was simply no good. The law was if anything a pain in the ass and Marines were not exactly the nicest people around. He frowned.

"Right well, I guess you can lead zha way... I do agree on no horse in zhis land would be able to hold me. Gongongongongon!"

He burst out laughing, taking the final sips from his barrel. Constantine stood up making sure not to hit his head with the roof. He reached into his pocket and pulled out cash to pay for his drink and B.G.'s drink. It was the least he could do after the comedic stunts the man had played for him as well as the general help he had been.

"In any case, it doesn't matter! I zhink my strides can cover more ground zhan a small person horse."

[mildofthewild]

"Well, in that case, you and me are on a venture, pal! Just...let me..." 

B.G. searches through his pockets, looking for some kind of change to pay for the drinks with, noting...very few...

"...Eh, we'll just put it on my tab." 

"NO YOU WON'T! If you don't got the beli, then you're gonna work this off some other way!"

"...sigh...give me a bit." 

---

And so, a bit B.G. was given. A long bit. He emerges from the tavern, looking mighty worn and annoyed, with a few scuff marks and welts from where he was fussed at over trying to steal pieces of food. 

"Alright, I guess we're off. Let me....just...real quick," 

Without so much as asking, B.G. quickly climbs on Constantine's shoulders, crouching down and resting on his haunches as he gives the big man's shoulder a smack. "Mush! With how big you are we might get there before sundown. Plus, I'm willing to bet they got some great action at night for whatever you need. Stick to the outer circles; from my experience, common folk know music like the back of their hand. Probably cause it's all they really got," B.G. muses, scratching his chin as if lost in thought. 

"What kind of musicians you lookin' for? Brass, woodwind, string? Those little one man bands, tambourines? Maybe somebody whistlin' in a jug? Can't be too picky, you might be dealin' with some slim choices here." 

[Sam]

Constantine was amazed by the struggle inside... one thing he would take note of is this B.G fellow wasn't punctual with his payments. The greedy musician made it a mental note never to give him any loans. Meanwhile, B.G worked Constantine put a small show for the locals of the restaurant for a 'bit'.

---

Once it was all said and done the large man walked out alongside his new friend who had some nick and bruises. Constantine didn't even want to ask how that happened.

"Right! Off vee go! Ready B.G?"

But before Constantine could get a coherent answer the thief had made himself comfortable on his shoulder and was yelling at him 'Mush' like he was some kind of horse. The large musician didn't care, it was whatever. Frankly, if B.G. had to walk the whole way himself that would be slightly unfair since he couldn't make as much ground as Constantine could with his long legs.

"I guess that answers my questions! Gongongon!"

He laughed, as he began his march through the muddied ground and through the rickety wooden buildings of Barbada Town. Constantine was glad he was leaving this place... it made his shoes dirty. Plus the people didn't seem all too friendly... like they'd become hardy from wondering about.

"Huh? Zhe first choice seems nice... I'd like two string, one key, two vocals and one drummer if possible. I'll take care of one string and zhe main vocals."

Constantine rubbed his chin. He seriously hoped he could find what he was looking for. He was in a time crunch! A hefty one... so at this point, he'd settle for just about anyone who could play those instruments. He was hoping he'd made the right choice in listening to B.G about finding people in capital. 

"Vee'll see vhen vee gets zhere!"

[mildofthewild]

B.G. nods his head as he looks forward, watching as the capital gets closer and closer.

"Remember, the outskirts. If you need to see any Nobles, you're gonna have to be on your own; some people might be looking for their underwear, they're soft...warm...underwear..." The thief snuggles with the brassiere, having used it as a pillow while on Constantine's shoulder. He couldn't believe how roomy it was. There was even enough space to just lie back and lounge about! They sure make em big in the new world.

As the two approach the kingdom, they were treated to the usual spectacle of the common serfs and peasants, toiling away in fields and in ovens just to try and make some kind of living.

"Hm, I can't watch this...I'm gonna cover my eyes, so just keep going left, they have some homes that way. People usually play their stuff in the streets after working." The thief blinds himself to the plight of those around him, choosing instead to pick Constantine's brain a little.

"So, New World huh? You gotta tell me, music man...craziest thing you've ever seen. Spare no expense! Unless it's a long story, in which case, give me the short version. I lose interest fast."

[Sam]

Walking through the fields Constantine looked ahead... the sun covered the golden fields of wheat making them seem like pieces of flaxen gold. He smiled for a bit admiring the beauty of the countryside and watching the farmers hard at work. Hard work paid off... but soon his smile turned into a frown. B.G.'s reaction reminded the large man of something dire, for the most part that these men and women were more or fewer slaves for the King of this nation. It was frankly no different to the slaves his palaces owned... or those that worked the God-Kings' vineyard in his nation.

"Sure thing we can move toward town... I too don't want to look for too long."

Constantine began to head left just as he had been told by B.G, as he approached the view began to change. Homes with stone brick buildings and thatched roofs began to become the norm around these parts. Grey smoke billowed from the buildings filling the air with the scent of smoked pork and charcoal.

Once again the large musician found himself lost in setting... as he quitely admired the simple beauty of Illusia his admiration was interrupted by B.G. once more. This time he asked the large man about the weirdest thing he had seen. More specifically of the wonders, he'd seen in New World. That was hard, New World was crazy for B.G. for the people of the blues and even some of Paradise. But to him that was the norm to an extent. If anything this peaceful place was bizarre. So tame and so devoid of the feral nature of New World.

"The craziest thing I've seen?"

He said in a soft voice. Constantine came to a complete halt as he pondered how to go about answering this question. He removed his purple tainted sunglasses revealing his violet-colored eyes. Looking over at B.G. on his shoulder slowly he let out a soft sigh.

"If I told you... you would think I'm crazy."

Constantine explained. The craziest hardest thing to believe was his homeland. The way it functioned... its location... its place. It was all complete and utter madness! Constantine doubted B.G. would understand. No one so far had. They either called him a liar or some madman. Some even asked if he'd consumed some sort of hallucinogenic plant. He couldn't blame them for believing that. None of what Constantine had seen in his homeland was believable to these simple-minded people.

"The island I was born in... is in New World, tucked away in its farthest reaches... far from curious eyes."

The large man paused, turning back to the road. Walking ever so slowly. The kinder sun of Illusia warming him up... making him feel calm.

"If you approach it... all you'll see on the horizon is a volcano billowing black smoke. If you enter the various lava tubes of the now dormant volcano you'll be met with some of my people. The lower born and the higher you rise the higher living standards go... with the highest peak being high above the clouds in palaces."

Constantine turned to look at B.G. for a moment.

"My people are sky dwellers... they resemble the very angels and demons you speak of in legends. At the very top! At the summit of the heavens. There lives the God-king and almighty ruler of the Synadri Kingdom."

He let out a sigh and turned back to the now paved brick roads. They were getting closer to Ilias. Perhaps it was best to hide now in the nearby thickets. Constantine began to turn to them avoiding the city at least for now.

"Go ahead, laugh B.G. call me a mad man. But that's what I saw... there is where I grew up. I know the hierarchy that bothers you better than anyone. I was born in it. It disgusted me. So much so I exiled myself."

[mildofthewild]

The words weigh heavily, B.G. keeping a keen ear while he peeks through the gaps of his fingers, watching the toiling around him. Constantine...just who was this guy? The more he heard, the more B.G. had to wonder if this was just a simple music man. Sky Islands...sky gods...and yet, even with all of that mysticism...it was all still the same...

"...I guess no matter where you're from, people are always gonna choose power. Can't have the powerful without the powerless..."

"...Tell you what, Constantine buddy o' mine. I won't judge. I won't laugh, even though I love to do it. Why? 'Cause you're down here now. With the land dwellers. And don't be goin' all soft on me; I'm a thief, I don't got time to worry about who's on top and who's on bottom. I can only look after number 1. But maybe we can make some time for the other numbers today..."

The thief stands tall on Constantine's shoulder, stretching his limbs and limbering himself as he leans a hand against the large man's temple. "Now, CHIN UP! First rule of recruiting, you gotta keep a happy face. Smile. These people need it, believe me. And follow my lead."

Sliding down the man's arm, he lands gracefully in the dirt before addressing the crowd, waving and dancing all the while. 

"Hey, hey, hey, you need some music in your life?! You got the cravin' for a time of song and cheer? Of course you do, look at you all! Gather 'round, gather 'round, fellow dirt dwellers and listen up!" 

Eyes roll and heads turn at the spectacle on display, B.G. not being able to resist a show of his own as he supplicates the crowd. 

"...Is that a bra on his head?"

"Ah great, the Top is back."

"Yeah, but who is that big guy..."

"I'm glad you asked," B.G. says, spinning in place and pointing into the crowd. "The big lug is only one of the premiere musical geniuses of this world, hailing all the way from THE NEW WORLD! You heard me right, an assortment of song and merriment created from experiences far beyond our imagination! AND HE NEEDS YOUR HELP! You got the strings, you got the drums, you got the singers, the...the uh...psst, big guy, what was that last one?"